Saturday's Puns

[F, Calla & Luca]

Those who jump off a bridge in Paris are in Seine.
A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.
Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.
Practice safe eating - always use condiments.
Shotgun wedding - A case of wife or death.
A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.
A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

 

Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.
Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.
When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.
A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two tired.
What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead give away.)

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism your count votes.
She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off.
A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.
With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

Local Area Network in Australia - the LAN down under.
Every calendar's days are numbered.
A lot of money is tainted - Taint yours and taint mine.
A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.

He had a photographic memory that was never developed.
A midget fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a small medium at large.
Once you've seen one shopping centre, you've seen a mall.
Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.
Acupuncture is a jab well done.

Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.

 

Okay, you can groan now.

[Gail and Bailey]

Thanks for the chuckles! Very clever stuff!

[Joanne ~ Spud*]

;~}

[Ginny Nightingale]

Clever!

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

grrrroan! ;)

[Jennifer and Jack]

Lol

[Doris, Knox & Flash]

Groaning in Texas! Thanks, F!

[Maryann,Roo and Tigger]

Too clever.  My clan ( the Murphy side) takes great delight in conversational punning.  But you put my cousins in the shade.

[F, Calla & Luca]

Oh no, these are not my puns. Just some that were sent to me. Let honesty prevail.

[Bryce P]

My Favorites:

He had a photographic memory that was never developed. A midget fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a small medium at large.  If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed. With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.  

[Jennifer,Chloe & Myla]

Very funny! Thanks!!