Dear Varmint!!

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Dear Varmint,

 

You recently moved into our neighborhood and I would like to inform you that we have a neighborhood watch and their names are Fudge and Vern. 

They know the comings and goings of all neighbors, strangers, animals, and especially varmints.  

The last few nights have been tough on them and the people they live with because you are out there doing something past our bedtime.  Article 3, section 2, in the handbook you were given when you moved in, clearly states that all nighttime activity must conclude by 11 pm and not resume before 7 am.  Last night, there was activity at 2 am, 4 am, and again at 6 am.  We know this because the neighborhood watch was busy running from window to window; barking and carrying on like a couple of dancing hyenas.

 

This is your first warning to stop all nighttime activity.  If you continue to disobey this notice, you will be evicted from this neighborhood one-way or the other.  Please spread the word amongst your deer friends, cat friends, and any other friends that go bump in the night.  I don’t want to scare you or make idle threats, but if the lady of the house has to come out there some night in her bathrobe, rubber boots, and Edward Scissorhands hairdo, because the neighborhood watch has interrupted her beauty rest, it isn’t going to be pretty, and I don’t just mean the lady of the house. 

Just out of curiosity have you ever seen the show Swamp People?

Let’s try and be neighborly from here on out and keep our cavorting to a minimum after the designated hours. We appreciate any help you can give us in this matter.

 

Sincerely,

 

The Neighborhood Watch and their Tired Owners

[Jane, Rooney & Stuart]

LMAO!!! 

[Jane, Guinness and Murphy]

LOL....another morning laugh.

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Thanks, Jane and Jane!!

[Kaytlin and Cooper]

Fudge and Vern obviously arent doing their jobs well enough... work harder Fudge and Vern, chase those varmints away!!!!

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

They sure worked hard last night, although their surveillance work was done indoors :) LOL

[F, Calla & Luca]

Anytime you want a few dead body pictures to help scare the varmints off let me know. Fortunately my varmints seem to behave at night. It is true I keep the dogs in the bedroom to prevent the dogs from wandering downstairs where garbage men, the newspaper delivery, and cavorting varmints might cause the dogs to carry on. Of course I don't require as much beauty sleep as some : ) I did note that aside from some very prominent scars your Edward Scissorhands persona has few wrinkles. You may be on to a new way to decrease wrinkles, no doubt the scars as they are healing pull the skin taut.

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

I know who to come to if I need dead animal photos :) Thank you for noticing I have few wrinkles....I get that from my mom's side....LOL!!!

[Lori, Rooney & Zuzu]

Hilarious! At least it's hilarious for those of us who only have to read about it and had a good night's sleep. :) Sounds like what you really need is a big, fat tomcat. When I was growing up we had a cat that could bring down varmints bigger than he was!

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Lori, The neighbors used to have a big, fat tomcat. I keep saying, "no more cats." We rescued one and now that she lives indoors, she doesn't even try and go outside. I guess her varmint hunting days are over :)

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

ROFLMAO!

I think we need the Neighborhood Watch team here, too. Something is digging holes in the my yard at night. Fortunately, JD doesn't hear whatever it is, because I need all the beauty sleep I can get. ;)

 

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Karen, I need a good night's rest. I will send them your way....LOL!!

[Bonnie and Kona]

Something is digging holes in my yard too, but it's not in the middle of the night. It is Owen Doodle in the middle of the day. DH has the sprinklers set all day long in an attempt to grow new grass. I'm telling him tonight we either have grass or dogs because Owen is a muddy mess all day long now. ;o) If it were just his feet I think I could even maybe handle it, but he gets his whole face muddy, too. He is such a silly doodle. DD has him in the shower now.