Do You Have An Arch-Nemesis?? Fudge and Vern, Or Should I Say Laurie, Have Two!!

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

I have had it with two creatures that share this earth with us. We walk everyday up at our nearby State Park and I have never killed (on purpose) an animal, but I am about to start packing (think Jane) like Elmer Fudd and start taking matters into my own hands. 

I am just not sure I can operate a weapon, hold poop bags, control two large dogs, and hit my target.  What has got my dander up?  Well, I will tell you! 

First of all, that park is loaded with geese and the main reason they seem to exist is to generate enough poop on the sidewalk, in the grass, and on any stationary object, that it forces humans to become nimble on their feet and hones our dog training techniques.  I am starting to wonder if every morning the head goose stands around and passes out Ex-Lax to make sure they have a very productive day.  We have all heard of a fleet of geese, and there is even a laxative called Fleet and if I worked in Marketing at the Fleet company, I would suggest their slogan be, "Makes you poop like a goose!" 

Possibly, the solution is to find the pill dispensing goose and either hand it a supply of poop bags or convince the goose that distributing Imodium capsules would allow her to live a longer life.

Yesterday, I was screaming, "Leave It!" so loudly at Fudge and Vern that I think I saw an old lady drop her purse. Our entire walk consists of me on high alert for evidence that some goose with an overactive digestive system has walked this path before and then convincing my dogs that leaving gross stuff alone would be in their best interest. I can tell you I see no let up with these goose pie dropping beasts because they are multiplying by the dozens.  Sure, the babies are cute, but it is just a matter of time before they get bigger and say to themselves, "this is as good as place as any," when the urge strikes and we all know that is somewhere on a sidewalk. 

Next up, we have the groundhog, or as I like to call them, the moving rodent from hell. This little guy serves one purpose and that is to come out once a year, either see his shadow or not, and predict the weather. 

The rest of the time he is digging holes big enough to swallow a human whole, or running from hole to hole while you are walking your dogs and trying to engage them in a game of Red Rover, Red Rover, Send Fudge and Vern Over.  He has no regard to the human attached to the other end of their leashes.  I am all for working with distractions, but fifty mounds of goose poop and fourteen groundhogs running willy-nilly would tax even Victoria Stillwell or Mother Teresa, especially since I strongly believe in another life, Fudge and Vern were hunting dogs.

So, I ask you, can anyone come up with one good reason why I shouldn't start carrying a rifle and put these creatures out of MY misery?  I will consider all suggestions, but don't bother bringing up the fact that I don't know how to shoot, have never hunted, and am prone to nervous tics.  I need valid reasons only.

[Carol and Banjo]

I say we all chip in and hire an airliner to pack all of the "Canadian" Geese into and send them back to Canada!

LMFAO Donna!!!!   Will one of those cuties really answer the phone when Laurie calls?

[Donna K & Quincy]

Carol, if you haven't watched Duck Dynasty you don't know what you're missing. It is an absolute riot! I only started watching it after it got mentioned on DK. It is LOL funny.

[Carol and Banjo]

Donna,  My DH turned me on to this show....he would watch it and be hysterical...finally got my attention....not many shows make him laugh out loud.    It IS one of the funniest shows on TV! 

[Margaret & Pebbles]

I seen where someone mentioned Duck Dynasty too, I have only seen a few of them, it is funny.  Did anyone see where Miss K, I think that's her name, was making a pot of squirrel stew...LOL!!

[F, Calla & Luca]

They are Canada geese, not Canadian : (

[Kaytlin and Cooper]

yeah and we dont want em!

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Donna, I think I would almost rather have geese and gophers than those guys. Very scary. I can't believe that second picture...looks like the women's restroom line at a concert :) LOL

[Leslie and Halas]

I think maybe you should hire a sniper/assassin.  That way, the other geese and groundhogs won't know that you're the one responsible for killing their friends.  Halas rolls in goose poop at my friends' house.  And, of course, with his velcro fur, it just sticks to him.  So he jumps back up with goose poop hanging off of him like fringe. Gross!

[Margaret & Pebbles]

We have so many geese here too.  When I was driving home on the highway the other day,  a mother goose had her babies on the edge of the road.  What are they doing there?  Also, about 6 years ago, I was in the back parking area of a medical building, and I as I was approaching the sidewalk, from under a tree out comes 2 geese moving their heads with their mouths open, walking fast toward me.  There were babies under the tree.  I ran as fast as I could to my car, I was shaking I was so scared.

Being that I grew up in Cleveland, Ohio a large city, we never seen Canada geese or groundhogs, or possum.  Rats yes!  When we moved farther east I thought it was so cute to see all these critters.  Didn't take me long to say it changes once their in your backyard and you and your dogs are dealing with them.  We have a huge mole problem, Pebbles don't care much for them, but my border collie/terrier mix, she is the hunter.  She pounces on them and kills them.  The groundhog so far, along with the possum stays on the other side of the fence, but the groundhog loves to tease Mitzie. 

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

My dogs got a mole/vole about a month ago and had it in their mouths. I made them drop it and when I went out later it was gone. Yikes!! Our neighbor had a groundhog on her deck the other day and I told her to make sure he stays in her yard :) We live in the country now, so I guess it is to be expected.

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Good idea, Leslie!! Vern rolls all the time up at the park and we have had a few "goose poop hanging" good times, too!! LOL

[Traci -Bexter & Maggie]

OMD!  LMAO as usual to your blogs!  I will totally support you if you did take them out!  They hiss at me all the time while I am running & make me nervous!  They certainly were obviously put on earth for doodle owners to teach their dogs the "Leave it" command!  UGH!