Confused new owner of a Labradoodle

[Confused Doodle]

I am very confused. We got a Australian Labradoodle pup and have had her for just a few days,my son is having a very hard time adjusting to her, ie. she barks and he has meltdowns, she comes near him

to play,and he has huge meltdowns, he only wants to play with her when shes far away or they are outside when they come into the house he wants nothing to do with her, its causing huge amounts of stress in our house, considering my son has autism and is non-verbal, has there ever been a instance where a pup has been returned to the breeder? We paid 3k for her,and its not even about the money I would return her tothe breeder because I would know this wonderful puppy would end up in a good home.Shes amazing, calm I just feel like its not going to work out for us.

[BG and Gavin]

If it is only a couple of days, can you try giving it more time?  Introduce the two in a more gradual way - maybe in separate rooms, then gradually closer.  I know that individuals with autism tend to have difficulty with change, but there must be a way to make it work.  It will take time and commitment of course, but the long term rewards are great.  There are other members on here that have children with special needs.  Hopefully they will chime in with some helpful suggestions.  Please don't give up yet on this little pup.

[AndySharon BoomerShaynaMariner]

 

There is a group for families that have children with special needs.  Perhaps you can reach out to someone in that group.

 

http://www.doodlekisses.com/group/dogsautismspecialneeds

[cheryl & oliver]

I wonder if your child is afraid of the puppy?....did the puppy jump or nip at him? Has your son been around puppies before?...You didn't tell us how old your son is, so it is really difficult to say if it is the puppy scared him, or did something to cause this reaction.  There are others on the board that have children and grandchildren with special needs, so they will be far more qualified to answer you then me, but I wonder if the puppy did scare him.  Maybe an older dog that is calmer then a new puppy might be the way for you to go at this time.  Puppies can be very unpredictable, and maybe he did something that has bothered or frightened your son.  New puppies do bark, and the run around, but maybe someone else can help with answers...How old is the puppy?...I hope you will get the answers you need to make the right decision for you and your son and your family....

[F, Calla & Luca]

I agree with BruceGirl, this is such a short time for the big adjustment it must be for your son. Do you have a therapist who helps you with your son? Perhaps that person could be helpful. Also maybe if you keep the puppy tethered, on a leash, in the house this will prevent the pup from getting too close to your son. It helps with housebreaking too. With time perhaps your son will get used to the dog and come to enjoy her. Perhaps you can try to explain the puppy is just talking when she barks.

[Lisa, Daisy & Dexter]

The first thing I would do is contact the breeder and let her/him know what is going on so that she is aware.

After consulting your therapist and or Dr. perhaps they can give you some tips. You know your son better than any other so go with your instincts.

Bottom line is this is all brand new, there are adjustments to be made in every new addition in every family but please don't wait too long before making a final decision, the older your pup gets the harder it will be for all of you if you decide it's not going to work.

[Nancy, Ned, Clancy, and Charlie]

I am so sorry.  We get these wonderful ideas for ways to better our children's lives, but sometimes it isn't the correct thing for that particular time in their lives. The advice to consult with your therapist is really the best suggestion.  Your son's therapist/teacher or whomever helps you with his autism is who you should consult. How old is your son?  How severe is his autism?  Has he EVER been exposed to dogs or even animals?  What was his reaction? 

Dogs can be a wonderful support for autistic kids but it just doesn't 'happen' like magic.  It takes tons of work to make the dog helpful for the child and for the child to accept the dog.  I do not think getting a puppy is the best way to make your goal happen.  I think a dog already behavior tested and trained is what you need. If the breeder would refund your money, it could be saved up for an already trained dog, if the therapist feels your son is ready and could benefit from a pet.  If your breeder is not reputable and willing to take the puppy back, I would consult with a doodle rescue about re-homing the dog.

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

I think this is the best advice.

[Confused Doodle]

We honestly had thought about a service dog, and I believe that is our best bet as well. I thought a pup would be great for our little guy because I felt it would open him up but it seems to just have shut him off because he wont even get off the couch if the pups around.

[Maryann,Roo and Tigger]

Ditto to Nancy's advice - well said

[Confused Doodle]

Yes we did contact our doctor and his teacher,both thought it would be a great idea. Our son is a mellow 6 year old child, he is non-verbal.  The puppy is not the problem, I realize this - its my son and the way he feels toward the pup.  I have already contacted the breeder.Thanks

[Jennifer and Jack]

uggg what a situation ...I don't know a lot about special need children. I guess it would depend on his cognitive ability. If he is not capable of understanding safe puppy rules to keep him and the puppy safe, unless you want to spend all your time always being in the same room, I would consider contacting the breeder and returning since he is so young.

If your child is capable of understanding, no hurting the puppy on purpose or by mistake and you are willing to put the time in, it could work. A puppy is going to jump and nip for a while yet and what will happen if he nips your child? How will he react? It is very important to keep both safe. The puppy is a newborn baby and his personality and how he views people and situations is being formed and it is extremely important it is all positive.

It is not uncommon to return puppy to breeder, If it is a reputable breeder they will take puppy back.

I am not saying you have to give the puppy back..I am just saying to make sure both child and puppy are safe. Autisim has such a wide spectrum and no one but you and your doctors can know what is in the best interest of your child.

[Confused Doodle]

Thank you for your comments, the pup hasnt nipped him, she just simply jumps and touches him with her paw and he looses it - I wish I knew if it would be better, but honestly I am afraid of waiting and then it not getting better and us getting attached - I feel like a terrible person because I contacted the breeder to see if she had another family for this pup. It just makes me feel like I'm giving my child up for adoption.