Just Want To Talk...

[Joanie]

Hey everyone :)  You guys are always so good at listening and anwering questions related to my doodle.  I don't know... maybe you guys can help me too.  I'm just going through a hard time.  For the past two years I was working at this great job... part time, 20 hours a week, only 4 hours a day, out at noon everyday, making an excellent salary AND had benefits.  For the most part, I loved my job.  I felt so proud of it and besides doing Administrative Assistant work it also let me be creative by using PowerPoint.  Back in March the company restructured and my position was eliminated.  I didn't get to say goodbye to any of the people I had worked with for two years.  Just within a half hour period, my job was gone and I was told to leave.  No notice no nothing just leave.  It's been hard for me.  No closure, no nothing.  I don't do well when I don't have closure.  I since have been looking for a job, but I keep comparing everything to what I had.  I got offered this excellent job yesterday, full-time, at a company not even five minutes from my house, a big nationally known company, with paid holidays off, monday through friday, benefits, but the job is as a receptionist.  I guess I'm just scared now.  I'm scared, am I making the right choice?  Will I just be answering phones or will I also be doing secretarial work like I have been?  My husband says I have to leave the past job in the past, it's over and done with... but that's so hard for me because I keep looking back at what I had and what seemed to work for me.  How do I close the door on that part of my life and look forward and see this as a new adventure?  I just have so many questions and I'm just so scared and I want to do what's right for my family.  Any advice?

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

Joanie,  I am sorry that you are struggling with this, and I hope that you can find some clarity. I don't think anyone can tell you how to let go of the past and look forward to the future, I think many of us have trouble with change, especially when we lose something in our lives that is important to us. It's also natural to be scared about whether you are making the right choices as you move forward, but the only way you will know is to take a chance. I think the best you can do is go with your gut, and look upon it as trying something new; not committing to it, just trying it out. You may have a wonderful surprise in store for you, and if not, no harm done. Good luck in whatever you choose to do. :)

 

 

[Allyson, Peri & Taquito]

I think I would give it a try. What's the worst that could happen?  You end up hating it and then you could find something else or quit.  That is what I would do....but I agree with Karen to go with your gut.

[Joanie]

That's the problem... my gut is telling me that I'll never find the kind of job I had and that this isn't going to work and that I should be scared... I guess as a side note I should explain... I suffer from severe anxiety and depression... I am on medication.  Just, I'm still so upset about what happened at my previous job and so scared of what a new job could hold for me.  You are right... what's the worst that could happen... I just should try it.  Just so scared and afraid of getting hurt.

[Joanie]

Hi Andrea :)  I don't want to be held hostage by my condition either, so I know exactly how your son feels.  I just get mad at myself sometimes on jobs when I can't predict that my anxiety is gonna flair and I completely freak out and people think they have to walk on egg shells around me.  I guess that's also why I'm scared because at my last job they understood somewhat about my anxiety... not all the time, but they did try.  So it's scary starting all over from square one again and having eventually having to explain about my anxiety if it starts up.  When my anxiety gets bad I literally get paralyzed and just cry hyterically.  So that's part of the reason why I'm so scared because I don't want to freak out and I can't control my anxiety.

[Kaytlin and Cooper]

im sorry your having a rough time. I too lost my job suddenly. An hour before the end of my shift I was told, "dont come back". it is hard and it does leave you feeling down. 

I would give the new job a try for a few weeks, lets say 1 month. if you hate it, then you can always leave. And you can always still be on the look out for something else.

[Jane, Rooney & Stuart]

Joanie - you said you are afraid of getting hurt.  That means that you are taking your loss of job as personal - but it really isn't personal even though it feels that way.  It is personel (a big difference)  - meaning that the company most likely decided that they couldn't afford to offer benefits to a part time employee.  Sadly the fact that you didn't get to say goodbye to anyone - today's business atmosphere is harsh - I've seen people walked to their desk and stood over by security people after being told to pack their desk.  Very mean.

 I feel your pain I REALLY do - my husband lost his job in March, still looking.  Many years ago - my boss got a new boss - a Vice President just like my husband was - well the bosses boss didn't like my husband - competition I guess and he "traded" me - sending me off to a job I hated!!!  I had the last laugh when I got my realtor's license, quit the job he forced me into and started a whole new career.   Work on realizing that YOU have control.  You can try a job - leave a job - reject a job or create a job and be your own boss.  I believe that something wonderful is going to come your way!!!!   

[Sherri, Sophie, Winston, & Kitty]

Jane this is wonderful advice!

Joanie, I'm having my own anxiety issues about change, moving to my first house. I'm terrified of the responsibilities I'm about to embark on, am dreading leaving my neighbourhood and comfortable suroundings, worried my new neighbours won't like me, worried about the longer commute, etc. etc. But past experience with change has taught me that even when something is really really scary you come out on the other end totally fine. Always. You will be just fine. As Jane said, you are completely in control of your life and your future. Give the job a shot, if after six months you are still unhappy, talk to your boss about it, get his/her views, be honest. If he can't remidy your unhappiness then you can leave.

It sucks not getting closure. I don't know what to say there. What happened to you was very unfair, but just like Jane said, it wasn't personal. Perhaps this is all connected to something bigger. There are adventures in your future, and everything will be fine!

As an aside, I'm a big fan of The Feeling Good Handbook. Whenever I'm anxious I try some of the exercises to change how I see things and it really helps!

Good luck with your new job! Have fun with it!

[Beth and Gang]

Joanie,

It sounds like you really enjoyed your previous job. You got a lot of personal satisfaction from it. And then it ended , no real reason, the company made changes. It happens often to people,and it hurts when it is a job you loved.

Now you have been overed a new chance, a brand new opportunity and you weren't even looking for it! I think that's awesome! Close to home!Full time! Good salary!Benefits! Heck I would answer phones, shake out their carpets, do a little dance, sing a little song! Seriously this is an opportunity that came to you, give it a try!

 

You can't drive forward lookin in your rear view. You will miss what is ahead. Let go.

 

 

[Joanie]

Thank you everyone for the great advice :)  I do take what happened with my previous job personally.  It's hard for me not to.  I just keep thinking if I played the game different, acted different, dressed different, did something different I would still have the job and I know that's not true.  I'm just so good at playing the what if game.  I beat myself up over it.  Justin (my husband) says god threw this opportunity into my lap (no joke, I re-did my resume with the help of a librarian, applied for the job, and got an interview all within three days, then went on the interview yesterday morning and was offered the position yesterday afternoon!).  Justin says it's a great opportunity and I know deep down it is.  It's just hard.  I think I need to see a grief counsler and treat my last job like a person and learn to grieve over it, lol.  I know that sounds crazy, I just don't know how else to come to terms with it.  I like what you said Beth about, "You can't drive forward lookin in your rear view. You will miss what is ahead. Let go."  I'm gonna try this position and try to go into it with a blank slate and look at it as a new adventure.  Who knows what awaits me!  I just hate the unknown, lol.

[Sherri, Sophie, Winston, & Kitty]

Good for you Joanie. Go for it! You will be great!

All of my greatest life experiences have simply fallen in my lap. That is how you know it's meant to be. It will be a great experience. Even if it doesn't turn out perfectly, there is a lesson to be learned in it, so keep an eye out ;-)

[Janie, Jackson and Jilly]

Wow, it really does sound like this new opportunity just fell into your lap, it couldn't have happened any better! I know of some who are just hoping for an interview and don't get that chance and it is very tough on them. You are fortunate that you made such a good impression and now have an offer! Go you! 

[Ellen, Brûlée, and Tira]

Joanie, hi. Can you remember the time, way back, when you first began this job you are sad about losing? Did you feel anxious about starting it, too? Perhaps you can relate your fears about this new job to an earlier experience that turned out well. Maybe this is just the way you feel when facing change. The unknown is only that way until you give it a chance and get to know it. You already know they like you at your new job...or they would have offered the job to someone else!

You are not alone in your fears! We all are anxious about change!