Bringing in dog #2, does it change dog #1?

[Km]

We have a 6month old golden doodle.  He is EXTREMELY low key and probably the best puppy we could have hoped for, seriously (nothing chewed up, nothing peed on, no barking, etc)!!  

My mom has a 5month old golden doodle and our life has recently been rocked when she had a stroke the day after Christmas.  She is not going to be able to care for her dood.  We, of course, want to take him as part of our family.  My mother will most likely be living with us shortly.  Up until now, her dood has regular play dates with our dood, being that they are only a month a part.  When our doods are together, they destroy the house, wrestle for hours at at time etc.  THey see each other 1x/week.  When they are together, our dood becomes completely oblivious to all his training, as in contrast to when he is just with us alone.  

We LOVE my mom's dood, but we have some reservations in deciding to keep him as a brother to our dood or trying to find him a forever home.  My mother will be living with us, so we are extremely motivated for many reasons to keep her dood ( she adores him and it will be easier for her than just to start ripping away the most important things in her life).  Our reservations are that my husband feels it will change OUR dood.  He is the most laid back, calm dood who is afraid to do stairs (thus doesn't go down the stairs to get into the boys play room etc).  he does not chew on all the legos/superheroes that my 3 and 7 year old leave laying around everywhere.  We are so lucky that we don't have the typical "puppy" stuff that we initially expected.  My mom's dood is a totally diff personality, he is sweet as anything but he has chewed woodwork, has learned to bark for everything he wants (my mom has been ailing up to the stroke and hasn't been able to properly work with him).  He is NOT a 'high maintainance" or behavioral problem dog... he's just a typical puppy from what I can see.  But when he's here with our dood, our dood ignores us and becomes absorbed in competing with her dood.  Her dood jumps up on tables and steals foods etc... our dood has not even considered this but see him do it and light bulbs go on.  So, essentially what i am asking is by bringing in my mom's dood to our home... will this change the personality of our dood?  

I am trying to be very logical about this all b/c I will have two small children to care for, my mother who will have significant health needs and as my husband stated "the idea of creating chaos" from the pets in our home makes our head spin.  I think we are willing to do it if like in 6months-12months of training etc we can get some of the bad habits under control with her dood..... as long as it doesn't change the personality of our laid back dood.  

I am looking for perspectives, thoughts, feedback and things to consider..... thanks so much.  

[F, Calla & Luca]

Personality is not easily changed even at a young age. But it sounds like training will be required for your mom's doodle for sure, and still for yours. No rough housing in the house. Break the jumping, food stealing, rewarding barking etc. but it certainly can be done in 6 months. Your kids are also old enough to be trained somewhat to not leave small objects around. You could gate off the boys's playroom and I think this would be a good idea. It will take work but it certainly doable.
Wishing your mom a good recovery.

[Ginny Nightingale]

It is never easy to have two puppies at once and your situation is even crazier--but I think you can do it--just don't expect it to be perfect for quite a while--take your time, be patient and train, train, train.

I can offer one word of encouragement though. When I got my second doodle, my first one was 2 years old and very much a puppy still--the second one was 8 months old--they played like crazy and were so wild I had to keep them separated all the time except for 5-10 minute playtimes. When things got out of control, the gates went up again--gradually, over 2 weeks the novelty wore off and they could be together without wrecking the house. I clearly remember the first night that I had them both sleeping quietly at my feet--I thought it would NEVER happen and I almost cried!

Since your doods only see each other once a week, it is PARTY-TIME!! You may have to use gates to keep them apart and just let them play for brief periods and increase it as they learn to behave. Believe it or not, they will eventually act normally even when together and your calm dood will come back!

[Bonnie and Kona]

I have two doodles. One has always been extremely laid back, obedient and just plain a "good dog". His brother was purchased when he was 2 1/2 so it's not the same as your situation. Our first is the easiest dog in the world and the second is a challenge. Even though the second is dominant, the first is still just as calm and gentile as he ever was. I think you will be okay. It will definitely be a challenge to manage two teenaged doodles at the same time. You can set rules about where they rough house. It sounds like your mom's doodle needs some training in general. I'm so sorry about your mother's stroke. I hope she regains much of her function and that they whole family benefits from these additions to the house... doodle and grandparent. ;o)

[Jennifer and Jack]

When I read this I had to get up out of bed and go to my computer so I could respond. I am so very sorry your mom had a stroke, how awful for all involved.  I fear that with my mom because strokes run on her side of the family and she has all the stroke ingredients, high blood pressure, high cholesterol etc.

I have a puppy, well I guess he is not a puppy anymore he is going to be four in March. My mom who was never a dog person fell so madly in love with Jack that at the age of 70 she got a toy golden doodle puppy herself. Molly, my mom's dog is the light of her life.. I am serious when I say she added years to my mom's life.. That is all my mom talks about, thinks about, and I don't want to say lives for, but Molly has been such a God send to my mom.. Her whole life revolves around her...

I am not married and I don't have children. My mom did live with me when we brought Molly home Jack was 2 almost three and Molly was eight weeks. It was chaos. I have health challenges to say the least and the puppy was high, high energy.. Jack my dog is very much like your dog, I could leave a piece of steak on the ground and he wouldn't touch it unless I said he could, never chewed on anything at any time that he was not supposed to ever, except for toilet paper. 

It was hard mixing them together.. Two things I wanted to point out. It really depends on how close your mom is to her puppy, will it rock her world not to have the puppy? If so, what I have found is a tired puppy is a good puppy. so is there daycare that you could bring your mom's dog to to get some exercise out? Jack and Molly finally don't always wrestle together and they are together very often but don't live together.

My dog prefers to be an only dog. Today when I was bringing him home from my mom's he was so excited to get in the car and not have Molly there chasing him. However, if something happens to my mom, Molly is family and she will live with us.. and vice versa, Jack would live with my mom. 

It isn't ideal for Jack, Molly loves it. There are ways around the wrestling like others pointed out, gating off rooms etc. They will get used to each other, living together and find there way around. THere will come a time when you are not always tell someone to stop.

Having small children and two dogs is tough.... I would for sure try to get the puppy with more energy lots of walks, lots of exercise and lots of training... As to if it changes their personalities... Jack is my first and only dog.... I don't think his personality is changed totally, I do think he is happier alone..but I have a spoiled rotten doodle who is used to being the center of attention always. He is used to always being with me. If you are a busy mom and soon to be busy daughter, maybe the two puppies will occupy themselves.

I understand your husbands reservation, does your mom have a chance for a meaningful recovery where she will someday be able to resume care of her dog? Was the stroke so bad that she isn't aware of her doodle really? ( that would depend on what part of the brain the stroke occured in.) If she loss use of one side her doodle could be a great source of excercise in petting her.

I just personally feel for you and will pray your family comes to the right decision.  Maybe you can get a dog walker to come in and help you if there is not daycare. I think the puppies being close in age will bond with each other a great deal.  Jack and Molly are old enough apart that they are jealous of each other, if one is getting attention the other is ticked off.  I think your situation is different because they are so close in age. Also, you now have the added benefit of training your mom's puppy in a way your mom was not able to, you never know a little training with her could change a lot fast/

I think if your doodle is laid back now, he will always be laid back and just have a hyper time till he gets used to his brother living with him all the time.

Please keep us updated and my prayers to all of you to get the best possible solution.

[Adina P]

I would be more concerned with whether or not you want to add a second dog at all at this time.  If you want a 'regular' puppy and have the time and resources for both.  If you think you would be able to handle two dogs, because I think that is the main thing here: two dogs will play and behave differently together than one dog without a dog companion.  I don't believe a dog's personality changes when they live with other dogs.  I just think they express aspects of their personality that they don't have a chance TO express when they are the 'only' dog in a home.  Dogs, like kids, can get into more mischief when playing together than when playing alone.

Part of the reason that your pup ignores you and his training when 'brother' is there is because he's only 6 months and probably hasn't had a lot of training around distractions.  6 months is about the age when you can get really 'serious' about training and when serious training brings in distractions and ups the expectations.  Dogs don't generalize their training. So if his training has mostly been in at home without another dog there, he won't obey when another dog is there.  He will need to complete his training and so will your other dog.  So another thing to consider is that now you'll have two dogs to train more fully--do you have the time or desire to put in individual training into two dogs?  6 months is also when dogs start to 'test' boundaries and act a bit like 'teenagers' so to speak. It may be that some of that is coming out in your pup too. 

My last thought is that they are both really young and aren't used to living together so it's all novel for them.  Perhaps after they have lived together and their presence is not a novelty it wont' be so crazy.  Training and some new rules for how they play indoors (that you enforce) as well as some individual confinement of each dog when you need things to be less chaotic...these can all help things run more smoothly.

[Jennifer and Jack]

yeah, what Adina said.....

[Lucy & AnnaBelle's Mom]

I'm also guessing from what you explain above about your Mom's health even prior to the stroke, her puppy was not getting the exercise that it needed and that can account for some of the bad behavior.  I think that you would see a completely different puppy once it has some behavior training from you and has its expectations set and understands them as well as has some continuous good exercise.  I also think that it would play a large roll in  your Moms recovery to have her dog around, particularly if it were a little more calm.

[Nancy, Ned, Clancy, and Charlie]

My advice would be to try it out using the ideas others have given you.  Give it a few months if possible before making a final decision. It will be different with the two dogs.  As others have said it will be really tough for a while.  If your mom is cognizant  enough, it would be so wonderful if you could keep it. I think some of the naughty behaviors would extinguish quickly because you are probably better able to consistently follow up on your expectations than she ever was.  Other things will take serious training time.  There are a lot of us on DK who could give you helpful advice, but if it really is too much to care for your home, family and her, then contact the DRC so that they can help you rehome the pup. No one will blame you if you feel it is just not what you want to do for the next 15 years.  We had a similar situation in our family and it was a very hard decision to make. 

[Sue, Murphy and Bella ()*o*()]

Very wise advice Nancy. I agree it will take time and speaking from experience, don't expect your moms dog to be just like yours. Like you said, she's more of a normal puppy. And most of those things pass with age and training as well as them settling down after they realize they aren't going anywhere and have everyday to play.
My two are 18 months apart. Murphy was 2 1/2 when we got Bella at 10 weeks. So very different as they were about 50 pounds apart, but they have always played well together,
To answer your question: I don't feel it changed my first ones personality, but it did change his position in our pack. Like when you have an only child and bring home the new baby. Life is never the same for #1 and that's not necessarily a bad thing. I have often said though if you were to ask Murphy if he would like to have been an only dog, he would loudly answer YES! But the love eachother, that is very obvious. All you can do is give it a try and see how it goes. It could be very therapeutic for your mom tho, but you can only do what you can do. I too am hoping she recovers well from her stroke. And remember to take care of yourself in all this.

[Barbara B., Sasha & Oliver]

My Sasha was 10 months old when I got Oliver who was 10 wks old.  At first it was excitement for both but then after a few days we settled into a routine.  Oliver and Sasha always and still do play together (Sasha is 3+ and Oliver 2 1/2) and are inseperable.  Sasha's personality did not change when Oliver came into our lives, she just totally welcomed Ollie and they are just so good together.

 

Each dog is different but since both dogs are young I think you have a way better chance at coexisting happly :)  Consistant training is key, be firm and consistant.    I wish your Mom a speedy recovery

[Jane, Guinness and Murphy]

There are so many issues at play here, and only you and your husband can really decide if you can possibly handle adding another dog to your family right now.  Getting to your question about whether or not bringing in dog #2 changes dog #1, my experience has been that it did not to any meaningful degree.  Guinness was about 10 months old when we got his brother.  Guinness was a well behaved puppy who was so easy to train.  Murph was a "wild and crazy" puppy always full of energy and "looking for trouble".  He is so sweet but he's a big goofy guy who tries to get away with as much as he can.  Murph is now three and Guinness is almost four and Guinness's "personality" hasn't changed at all.  They do play together and sometimes it's a little more spirited than I'd like but when it's too much I just put a stop to it and separate them.  I find it to be totally controllable.  Do you have a fenced yard?  If you do, then they can "exercise" each other which is a huge break.  If not, and you'll have to be walking two dogs regularly....that can be a challenge.  Sending positive thoughts for your Mom's speedy recovery.

[Lisa, Daisy & Dexter]

Sorry to hear about your Mom and I hope she recovers soon. I only have the one so I really don't have any advice except that you will clearly have lots of re-training for the new pup needed. I think you are correct in trying to keep him for your Mom, both she and him may be heart broken otherwise.

Good Luck.