Greeting people

[Karen C]

I'm sure this has been addressed before but wasn't sure where to find it. We have an adorable 6 1/2 month old doodle that everyone comments on when they see him and asks to pet him. Eli instantly wants to jump and bite them. I hate to have to warn everyone he's a biter because then they back off like I have a bad dog. I explain to them he's a puppy still and is nippy. They all look at me like he's out of control and I need to get a handle on things. He also isn't very affectionate with me. He's much better with the nipping when he's exercised for sure but doesn't like to be held at all. I've never had a dog that doesn't like to be loved on or held at all. He likes belly rubs but from a distance so to speak. I don't work and spend tons of time with him. We got him at 11 weeks old. Besides the ride home when we got him and a few weeks after, he is not a lovey guy. I really hope this passes. I have two other dogs who are SO lovey I don't comprehend this behavior. He did jump up on the couch today and kiss all over my neck several times. Any advice on how to address the greeting people and bonding with my pup would be greatly appreciated. I just love my Eli and want him to love others and me as well!

[The Governor]

Hi,

We have a 4.5 month old puppy and have been experiencing the same thing. He still bites a little now but it's much softer and more controlled with every day that passes.

When meeting new people, my trainer told me to try giving the dog a treat when he is greeting new people to keep his attention down and not on jumping on them and he will eventually learn that it is better for him not to jump so he gets a treat although I appreciate that can be quite difficult to do as it just looks to the others greeting him that you are not letting them!

Another thing I tried for his jumping up, which seems to be working, is tethered approaches - having him tethered to something like a door or a table leg and slowly walking up to him with a treat. When he starts jumping and making noise, walk back and then approach again until he sits or stands quietly then quickly give him a treat. This is really working and he is already correcting himself whenever he jumps on me in the house.

Regarding the being held thing - I totally had this with mine and it really upset me. I know we shouldn't mother or baby them at all but of course we want our dogs to be happy if we need to pick them up or have some bonding time with by rubbing their belly nicely. What has totally worked for me has been buying those kong tubes of peanut butter (i think they do other flavours too but mine loves peanut butter) and I'll sit him down and stroke him somewhere that he used to get funny with like his face or neck (he used to try and bite when i did that) immediately after I stroke him there I feed him the tube for a second then take it away and repeat. As time goes on I built up the intensity of the stroking and then practiced holding him whilst feeding him from the tube and now he loves being belly rubbed and held! I can just hold him for ages now and he doesn't move which is such a contrast to what he was like before! promise you it works like a dream because now he associates being petted and held with yummy thoughts! 

[Leslie, Yogi & Maci Bear]

I think this comes with age also. Both our two got fonder of being pet as they aged. I remember Yogi, probably up to the age of one, he didn't care to sit with us. Maybe they are just too busy investigating their world.
But now at over 2, he will always come to me on his own and he could sit and cuddle for hours. Maci has been a super cuddler since around one also.

[Julie, Eloise & Beasley]

My first doodle puppy was both a kangaroo and a shark, so I can relate!  :)  Another way to discourage jumping is to stop his ability to jump by stepping on the leash. When he's greeting anyone, make sure he's in a sit and then step on the loose leash close to his body, so he physically can't jump. Tell the person greeting him that he must be calm before they pet/greet him - they can wait, and should understand and respect that he's a puppy being trained. (With mine, lots of people would say "Oh it's okay!  I have a golden (or doodle) and I'm used to it..." but do yourself a favor by being direct and stick to your training guns.) He should be calm before he gets any attention, and the petting/attention while he's jumping or acting puppy crazy is effectively reinforcing and rewarding that behavior. You didn't mention if this is just on walks or also at home when people come over (I'm guessing it's both) - if you don't already have him leashed in the house, keep him on a leash inside also, as tethering is a very effective training method.  You can search the site for "tethering" or "umbilical training" and you'll find many good discussions on the topic. 

Ignoring the jumping is another tactic, but I believe you have to be putting out the right "vibes" since they pick up on our energy. The instant my trainer walked into my house and turned his back to my jumping kangaroo doodle (he has a very commanding presence), she was sitting and calm within seconds because she figured out what was going to get the attention she wanted...  Ignoring her worked like a charm with him. On the other hand, others (mostly women) could turn their backs and Eloise still jumped on them, or she'd walk around in front of them to continue jumping - so the exact same tactic, but not the same result with my doodle. That's when the leash becomes the better tool to have. 

With my doodle's nipping, it seemed to stop when her adult teeth came in. If your puppy is still teething, that's likely the biggest part of it. There are lots of good tips for discouraging the behavior, like making a high-pitched yelp when he nips, or redirecting with a toy / safe chewing object the instant he starts to get mouthy. I will say basically nothing worked with my first puppy; I had little holes in my clothes and, for a few months, my hands looked like I'd put them through glass. You can also search "biting" or "nipping" here for a million more tips - just make sure you're addressing it somehow so he doesn't stay a "biter" as he grows. And as you eluded to, the best tip is: "a tired puppy is a good puppy!"  

My first doodle was also not really affectionate as a puppy - not a cuddler at all, and I was pretty disappointed. I agree with Leslie that age is a factor - some puppies are just busy busy and don't have an interest in being next to you. Eloise is very affectionate now and likes to snuggle.  My second doodle was a cuddler from the very first day and is a total velcro dog. Give it time and he might turn into a snugglebug when he slows down a bit.

[Kamela & Beckett]

We've had luck with turning our back to and ignoring our pup when he used to jump a lot. At 8.5 months he will occasionally jump, but a quick turn of your back and no attention and he parks his butt in a sit. If in doubt, Beckett will sit figuring that will get him what he wants/ make us happy. He is a sweet boy and enjoys pets and kisses my husband and I but he is NOT a snuggler. He has furniture privileges but chooses his dog bed or the cool brick of the fireplace hearth. He likes to be near us in the same room, but he doesn't want to be touching us or be a lap dog. That's just his personality. I think too he is very hot natured and that keeps him from wanting to snuggle.

[Gracie, Jade, & Barkley]

As far as greeting people properly, you have to nip it in the bud before he jumps on them.

Gracie is a jumper and she likes people. But, she's now a 90 lb yr old pup who still likes to do that. We either do one of two things when people come to our house - one she is crated until they settle in and then we get her out on the leash only. You stand on the leash so that they have just enough room to sit and that is all.
The second thing we do is have her leashed when people come over (this depends on who it is really). We stand on the leash so that she cannot jump up. She calms down eventually and we give her some leeway. But, if she goes back to the jumping (highly excitable), then she gets corralled back to sitting beside me.
We also give her positive reinforcement for when she is behaving in an appropriate behavior. You have to catch them at the right time.
As far as the nipping. He is a puppy. Puppies explore and greet with their mouths. Some are just more aggressive with their greeting as was Gracie. Again, use the leash as your training tool.
I find that people just don't understand how to approach a puppy and as soon as they go to pet the top of their head (which is often not liked by a dog), the puppy bites it. I mean puppies know that treats come from the hand too. Ha.
Anyway, sounds like he just needs some training on how to behave around people since the people don't know how to behave around him.
They also will outgrow some of the behaviors, but training is still your best tool.
Gracie is not a kisser. But, she has really bonded with her people. Regardless of our feelings that we tend to associate with "love", they are dogs. Dogs do not actually like hugs - we do. Dogs "kiss" for certain reasons - as pups they do it to get food. We just like to give them human emotions not canine instincts. Bonding takes all sorts of forms. But, if you work with them everyday on manners, playing - fetching, hiding treats and finding them, work on recall, etc. they will bond with you.