New Owner...Need some advice

[Discussing Labradoodles & Goldendoodles]

We took the plunge three weeks ago and got an 8 week (now 11 week) golden doodle puppy. 

We are at the stage of OMG what did we do.

With kids at home and one still in diapers, we may have jumped into this too soon. I understand that its a puppy. and after 11 weeks, it will pretty much do anything for treats, but nevertheless I am having some anxiety over what kind of commitment this will be and the toll it will take on our family.

The problem is I am thinking about the negative and not the positive and that alone tells me we may have made the wrong decision.

I have imagined our life without the dog, and I would feel bad but would get over it. With the dog I only worry about what that means for the future, boarding it while on vacation, having friends and family over who are afraid of dogs and don't want to see it, the barking, all the negative stuff.

We always said we wanted a dog but now I am the only one who really thinks, this is too much and maybe theres a family better equipped for this.

I am crazy? Is this just a puppy stage thing? How do we know when we need to cut our losses and move on. 

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

I'm going to be very honest. Others here may disagree with me, but I would say that if all you are feeling/thinking about are the negatives, and it feels like it would be easy for you to move on without this dog in your life, you should return or rehome him sooner rather than later. 

The "OMG, what did we do?" stuff is normal. But mixed with that, there is also usually a very strong feeling of love, adoration, attachment, protectiveness, etc. If you are not feeling any of that after 3 weeks, a puppy may not be the right choice for your family right now. 

What also makes me think this way are your thoughts about the future. We know that puppies grow up, get trained, and things get easier. So a lot of us, during those trying puppy stages, think "this too shall pass" and keep our focus on the future time when we will have an older, calmer, easier dog to love. But the things you are worrying about are in fact going to be there forever: yes, you will always have to make arrnagements for your dog's care when you are vacationing. Yes, a dog is going to bark at least occasionally his whole life. Yes, he will be there in your home when people who don't like dogs visit. Those things are not going to go away when he grows up. Having a dog is a 12-15+ year commitment of time, money, and love, and this little guy needs you to make that commitment to him. It's a promise we make in our hearts: I will provide for you and care for you always, as long as you live, no matter what. If you feel you can't make that promise, it would be fairer to the puppy to let him go to someone who can.  And the younger the dog, the easier it is for him to find a good, forever home. 

[Jane, Guinness and Murphy]

I completely agree with this.  I think if you have these types of concerns already, then the best thing for the puppy is probably to find her a home with a family who understands all about what it's going to take to raise her, and enters into that wholeheartedly.  The longer she stays with you the more she will bond, and that will just make a transition more difficult for her.

[Frank & TeddyToyDoodle]

Shalper, I never had a dog in my life when I took the plunge in my 50's.  Teddy is the best thing to happen to me in years, if not ever.  I must have sent the breeder 100 emails in the weeks leading up to my getting him...everything from the cage size, what if he doesn't go to sleep, what if my late-night isn't what he is used to, etc.

It takes a few months for his day cycle to mesh with yours....it will take 3 months before he is fully potty-trained (are you using bells around the door knob ? If not, get them and hit them EVERY TIME you go out to do potty or walk him).  You should start to see improvements in behavior and potty-training within a few weeks (esp. if you have bells).

Originally, I was going to get a puppy years ago when my father was sick and undergoing weekly/monthly visits.  That would have been a disaster so I can understand your family angst.  HOWEVER.....there's a difference if your having the puppy now is just a bit of an incovenience or if it is unbearable.

Things WILL get better, just as they do with kids.

BTW, what kind of doodle do you have:  Standard, Mini, or Toy ?

[Frank & TeddyToyDoodle]

Yes....I got mine at PetSmart.  You just need some little round bells that dangle from the door knob.  Like these:

https://www.petco.com/shop/en/petcostore/product/sievers-pet-care-p...

For now, whenever you take the puppy out -- for potty or even a regular walk -- you HIT THE BELLS, say "GO POTTY" and then open the door and you leave together.  Hit the bells, and I as I said 4-6 times a day for a few weeks "Teddy Go Potty....Daddy and Teddy Go Potty" etc.

Because Teddy was so small, at first he was afraid to hit the bells because they would come back and bounce off him or his head. :-D  So he would go over to the door and bark.  Eventually, he'd start hitting the bells.  Now, he sometimes just goes over to the door, looks up at his leash/harness and just barks.  Either way, I know he has to go out (sometimes I make him do it twice to make sure he really has to go as opposed to him saying "I want to go out and play" LOL). 

I would say after about 2-3 weeks Teddy was hitting the bells...when he starts to do it, DON'T STOP....keep doing until he is letting you know 100% of the time when he has to go out.  Eventually, when he is fully-trained, you won't have to say it when you take him out to the car or the like.

The key is repetition....he has to associate doing #1 and/or #2 with hitting the bells. Teddy would also see me get his poop bag as I gathered his stuff to go out (my coat, flashlight, etc) and he would also lead me to the dumpster ("GO TO THE DUMPSTER TEDDY....WHERE'S THE DUMPSTER, TEDDY....POOP IN THE DUMPSTER TEDDY....POOP IN THE DUMPSTER") ....: after he did #2 so we could throw out the bag.  All of these stuck with him.

Given my lack of dog experience, I figured he'd never learn how to tell me when he had to go out or it would take 6-8 months.  It took him less than 2 months.

His 1st month with me, we had 1-3 accidents per day in the house.  His 2nd month, it was every other day or so or less.  By the 3rd month, it was hard to believe he ever had accidents.

You'll do great, Shalper !!!   Go for it !!!  LOL

[Maryann,Roo and Tigger]

Everyone has given you good answers.  All I can add is that my new puppy, Murphy is 17 weeks old and she is still a lot of work, compared to Tigger who is 10 years old.  But I could never give her up.  It would break my heart, but I have had dogs all my life and bond easily with them.  Just as bonding with your second child is easier than your first, at least for me.

Decide NOW - you are in for the long haul or take your dog back to the breeder.

If you keep him - do these four things NOW. 

1) Pick up his water four hours before bedtime Crate him at night and do not get up with him to pee.  Guts it through the howling, crying etc.  Eleven week old pups can in a crate that just fits them can easily go 7-8 hours without peeing.

2) If he is in the house he is on a 6- 10 foot "leash" (a rope will do) and an adult has the other end of the leash in his/her hand or tied immediately beside them in the kitchen.  If you are doing something that neither of you can manage this put him in his crate.

3) Play and train him at least four times a day.  Make it fun for you, laugh, run, enjoy.

4) Acknowledge - both of you - that this is a big commitment and don't look back, look forward.

If you don't laugh or have fun with your puppy why do you have one?  Get a dog 3 years or older from a rescue or a shelter, maybe a better fit for you right now.

Murphy is 17 weeks, I have potty trained a lot of dogs, she is still far from perfect and I fully expect her to be on the long line at least six months, maybe more and she may go back on it around 18 months for awhile.

[Frank & TeddyToyDoodle]

Shalper, every dog is different even though you may fit the norm.

I remember going to the Mets playoff game in October 2016 and I left Teddy for almost 8 hours; he was just shy of 3 months old at that time (I got him at 7 weeks, BTW).  His cage was completely dry when I got back just after midnight -- better than 2 hours of dryness for each month old.  I was shocked, to be honest with you.  In fact, I think after the 1st night with me in his cage he did NOT ever have an accident in his cage.  I made it small with the divider so he knew if he wet the pillow bed, he would be sleeping in it.  He never did.

Now....after about 2 weeks he didn't want to sleep in his cage even though it was right up against my face when I went to sleep.  Since I live in a condo and go to sleep late, I couldn't have him barking for even 2 minutes at 2 AM or 3 AM in the morning.  So I gave in and let him sleep on the other side of the bed.  He has NEVER had an accident in the bed sleeping.  And my great fear -- that I would roll over onto him -- also didn't materialize (Thank God ! LOL).

FUNNY STORY:  OK, so after he graduated from the cage I would put up a plastic circular play area for Teddy at one end of my apartment when I would go out; about a 5-6 feet wide circle, 24" high.  I'd keep him in that when I went out.  One day when he was about 6 months old I left him a bit longer than I normally did or maybe I didn't completely walk him and have him fully go #1 before I went out.  Anyway, I get home and I see liquid in his plastic play area.  "TEDDY...ARGGH !!" I moaned even though I got home late and should have walked him more and drained him more if I was going to be out for that many hours.  My fault.

Anyway....I inspect the damage to clean up and hey......this isn't yellow liquid....it's white.....it's not pee....I look up.....THE CEILING WAS LEAKING !!!  Right into his play area !!!  :-)  LOL   It wasn't Teddy, his streak of non-accidents was still unbroken.  

I apologized to Teddy and proceeded to berate my roofer.  LOL

[Ginny Nightingale]

Night-time is different as far as peeing--the pup can go longer if asleep and not active--and the pup should be in a crate WHENEVER you  are not actively supervising him..so much to learn--sounds like you have not done too much "homework"--perhaps a puppy training book would help.

Also, not all doodles are hypoallergenic--and that is especially not true with an F1, so if you are concerned about allergies, you don't have any guarantees with a doodle. 

I have three doodles and they go upstairs in my room and lounge on the bed when we have a houseful of company--three dogs sniffing everyone and looking for pats is just too much for most folks and some of my pals are allergic--so there are solutions to that problem.

I have a house sitter who is very reliable, but you can also find a good place for boarding in your area--there are usually quite a few in most larger suburbs or urban areas....so, all this can be solved--most new dog owners go over all this in their heads BEFORE they get the puppy--thinking about it now, when you are most stressed with house breaking, child care, puppy clean-up, etc is rough!

[Lori, Winnie, Bob and Indie]

The crate is both his bed and a means to contain him for training. So, if he goes in by himself during a time period when you are watching him, the door can stay open. When you are putting him IN the crate at bedtime, when you leave the house, etc., the door is closed. When Winnie was a puppy, the only time we ever left the door open at night or when we left the house was AFTER she was fully potty trained AND we knew that she was not going to chew on any of our belongings.

Hope that helps! I agree with what others have said, BTW. Puppyhood is very overwhelming, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel. If it's the big picture of having a dog for the next 15 years, it's ok to either return him to a breeder or find a new home for him.

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

To your comment about a hypoallergenic dog; you got the wrong kind of puppy if you want no shedding and allergy-friendly. 70% of all first generation (F1, like yours) doodles do shed as adults, some quite heavily, and do affect people's allergies. Even with the higher generations, many do shed to some extent and are not hypoallergenic.

A reputable breeder will have a clause in her contract that if at any time during the dog's life you need to give him up, you must contact her; and the really reputable ones will always always take the dog back or find him a new home. You do not get your money back, however.
And I agree that an 11 week old puppy should be able to hold their urine through the night in their crate. Not during the daytime, when they are active. This is especially true is the breeder has done some work beforehand with potty/crate training. And yes, I am speaking from experience.
I disagree with withholding water for 4 hours before bed. To me that's way too long, especially since the pup is probably playing, running, etc during those 4 hours.

And you absolutely have to lock the crate. :) 

[Maryann,Roo and Tigger]

Responsible breeders will insist you return the puppy. They do not want him to go to a shelter or end up on Craig’s list. 

yes I do speak from experience, aloe of reading and a lot of training. Dogs sleeping in a crate that fits them, not too large ha e a mechanism in there body that allows them to hold their urine for much longer without discomfort. An eight week puppy can hold it about 3o minutes while awake and playing.

Murphy never goes out side alone, Tigger and I always accompany her.  We live where deer, coyote, bear and rattlesnake are common.  I am retired, but volunteer once or twice a week, go to the grocery store etc.  puppies and dogs love their crates. The general rule Odin thumb during the day is the n

[Maryann,Roo and Tigger]

to finish the above reply which disappeared into the ether.....

Holding pee is water consumption, awake or asleep, and age dependent.

With normal water consumption, outside of crate and awake/playing/chewing etc start at every half hour and work up about 15 minutes every two- four weeks or when you are always successful at 30 minutes.  If you pick up all water four hours before bedtime an average 8 week old puppy can sleep comfortably in an appropriate size ( not to much room) crate for 7-8 hours.  This will not increase much until the dog is much older.  In the daytime, in an appropriate size crate a puppy can be crated for his age in months plus one hour with no peeing.  So a two month old is okay for three hours.  I prefer to err on the less time side - Murphy is four months and I never leave her crated in the day time for more than 4 hours. Then she gets pee, play and just hang around time on her long line until she is crated again if necessary.  She will always voluntarily go to her crate if I say crate for cookie ( small treat).

Do you have a puppy playpen with a pee pad?  They are awesome if you have room to set one up somewhere. 

[Maryann,Roo and Tigger]

My husband has dog allergies - hence the doodles.  However many dog allergic people do not find Siberian Huskies to cause an allergic response.  There are lots of older rescue Huskies available.  Downside - they shed, buckets.  Upsides, if you have a well fenced yard adopt a dog that is 3 years old or older they are incredible awesome dogs.  They will play or sleep depending on what is needed of them.  Most of them are incredible with children.