Separation Anxiety?

[Lisa Raskind]

Hello again to all of you loving people who have helped me so much already!

Hana is over her bout of vomiting and is getting used to her new home.  She doesn't seemed particularly afraid of things.  I even worked with her on the vacuum and it didn't phase her.  However, we have noticed that she is extremely bonded to me and doesn't want to be with anyone else.  All of our other dogs usually bonded with my husband--he is such a dog person--so this is a new one! 

I am wondering if this is normal behavior, or if it is the beginning of separation anxiety that should be addressed.  She will only go into her crate if I am next to her; when I am getting ready for bed, she cries until I lie down in bed.  This morning I had some things to do and my husband took over, and she freaked out crying and barking until I came back.  Any thoughts?

So thankful I have found Doodlekisses!

[Doodlez]

Hi Lisa your situation sounds very similar to me so I feel your pain - my doodle is 7 month old now and has been doing this since I got him at 9 weeks.  He is extremely bonded to me and will cry when I leave the room (even if my boyfriend is in the room with him).  If I go out and my boyfriend stays home he will cry/bark/howl until I get back.  I've tried everything to get him to calm down.  I give him a frozen kong to distract him, exercise him, ignore him and have been practicing leaving for 1 minute then coming back, 2 minutes, 3 minutes, etc so he gets used to me leaving and coming back.  So far I haven't seen any real improvement. I'm really hoping that as he gets older he will get more mature and independent and wont be so attached to me.  All I can suggest is start trying to break these behaviors while she is still young.  Good luck

[Lucy & AnnaBelle's Mom]

Maybe if you start letting your husband be the one that gives him his food, treats, toys, etc. so that he will start looking at him as his pack leader as well.

[Sharon Schlegel]

Hi Lisa, I can't answer for anyone else, but it seems to me that Doodles seem more prone to separation anxiety. Our Sadie is 17 weeks old & still cries at the baby gate (we have several) if I go in another area if the house where she can't see or hear me.  Unless her crying, whining or varking disturbs someone I just let her cry & she does eventually. This website is a godsend.  I was ready to give up as Sadie is not at all like many of the pups we've raised-we are both in our sixties also. She is smart, stubborn, sweet, loving, more than a little crazy & so funny. All the Doodle owners I've talked to have told me to hang on, keep up with the training & discipline & I'll have  a wonderful dog. I can see glimmers of that now. And how wonderful that she picked you as her person! Sharon & Sadie

[Carol and Truffle]

Good to see your post & this thread. Our golden retriever definitely preferred me but would go to other family members very easily. 

Hearing that doodles may be prone to bonding/clinginess will have me make sure my husband fully participates in early training. Our pup's litter is expected to be born mid-March with come home dates in mid-May.

[Rhoni Ann]

Sound like she picked you as her person.
We have 2 older doos male and female, both are my shadows. The love my hubs but I am the one home with them. Plus we now have 3 of their pups, 5 months old, one has chosen me and one has chosen the Hubs, and one rides the fence going back and forth between us.

[Nancy, Ned, Clancy, and Charlie]

Split attention, playtime, training, and chores as much as possible with your hubby. Nothing wrong with a dog having a preference but you don’t want to be totally tied to your pup. I’d also begin looking for a trainer or training classes. 

[Stephanie Bowman]

Hi Lisa!

You are not alone! I am going through a very similar situation myself. Our dood won't even go potty in the mornings until he has properly greeted me, or sometimes until I walk out of the room with him. Though I am happy that he has chosen me as his person, I too get a little frustrated at times. Hang in there! All we can do is keep trying to help them become more independent and be happy that they love us this much :)

[Lisa Raskind]

Hi Stephanie,

Thanks for the reply.  Since I posted this, I have been following Doggy Dan--ignoring Hana when I come and go, and doing mini-separations (leave the room and close the door for a minute, then walk back in and ignore her).  I wish I had started practicing mini-separations earlier.  Hana is already 13 weeks, and freaks if I walk outside the house without her.  Gotta keep practicing!  But the good news is she is catching on and relaxing little by little.

[Stephanie Bowman]

Ah glad to hear the situation is getting better! Our trainer told us the same thing. I must admit I'm partly at fault since it's so hard for me to ignore his cute little face. When I've tried ignoring him in the past he gets very mellow and seems sad. But I think I'll just have to push through it and try not to pet him as much.

[Lisa Raskind]

I know!  So easy to fall for those cute little faces!  But Hana really does calm down when I ignore her.  We have to work on leaving her in her crate in the car by herself, which is going to be difficult.  Gotta be strong!

[Mammadood]

Freddie's 13 weeks and we were really struggling with this as well at first.  But I've been following Doggy Dan and find the ignoring part to be totally essential to squelching separation anxiety.  As well as pushing her away when she initiates contact.  It's SOOO hard to do b/c they're so cute, but it really really pays off.  Now when I do cuddle her she's much more interested in it and let's me pet her for quite awhile (with a chew in her mouth to give her something to gnaw on).   She also will play longer with me by my rules because I don't play with her when she wants.  It's so hard to do because they're so young and goshdarn cute, but I think it's important to do when they're so impressionable-help her to shut off.  Ignore her every time you enter the room from somewhere else, until she's very calm and not paying attention to you anymore.  I've started just entering and exiting the kitchen where Freddie is kept over and over and ignoring her the whole time and it's gotten so she won't even look up at me most times when I come in. This is key.  She starts to relax and not pay attention to my every move, and then I slowly would stay out of her sightline for more and more time.  Today she took a full nap away from me for about an hour while I was upstairs.  It was quite a relief.  She wasn't getting enough rest as a puppy when she was so intent on being by my side every moment unless I was sitting perfectly still and that's not really realistic! I have stuff to do!  Good luck and keep ignoring!!

[Nancy, Ned, Clancy, and Charlie]

Good job, Mamadood.