Submissive dog going to the doggy daycare

[MM]

Hello DK, 

I have a 8 month old golden doodle.  She is a mini weighing 17 lbs now. She is definitely not a alpha dog if there is a thing like that. She is more like a human dog, mellow, sweet, and shows her belly a lot. 

My dog doesn't get timid by big dogs. but she does get timid by aggressive dogs. In the beginning, we took her to a dog park a few times and she got pinned down by some aggressive dogs. After we saw it, we just avoid the dog park.

She has a best friend in the neighborhood and they play SO WELL. Her best friend is a 60 lb dog. We think that having a best friend is really good to a dog with this kind of temperament.

Since we both have full time jobs, we started sending our puppy to a doggy daycare. When we sent her for the first time, we made sure with the daycare owner that she is rather submissive and please keep an aggressive dog away from her. And the owner understood, and the facility and the staff seem all good and nice.

We've sent her 6 times so far and she comes back home not as tired as I thought she would be. They don't have a live webcam so I can't check the daycare during the day time but they sometimes post photos and videos on Facebook. And every time I check the photos, my puppy seemed to be fine.

So, last week, I stayed little longer and watched my dog play with other dogs. I found that as soon as my puppy entered the play area, all the dogs came to sniff her and one of the alpha or aggressive dogs tried to get to her and the staff member isolated the aggressive dog from my puppy. Then my puppy went straight to the staff member and she didn't like to stay away from the staff member. She usually sat under the chair of the staff member so that other dogs can't get to her. That was her safe spot. Even though my puppy seems so excited every morning she goes to the daycare, this behavior got me a little concerned.

I haven't asked the owner about it yet because I wasn't sure how honest the owner would tell me. The owner always said my dog does so well so that I can keep sending her to the daycare..... But I know this is not the matter of daycares. Whichever daycare she goes, she would prefer to be around human than other dogs, I think.

I'd like to ask all of you on DK if this seems ok. I don't want to send my puppy to a daycare to just sit around the human and to be afraid around aggresive dogs. I want my puppy to socialize a bit more and eventually hold herself against the aggressive dogs.  What do you all think? Do you have any suggestions? Should I keep sending her or reconsider?

Any words are appreciated! Thanks.

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

Some dogs just don;t love playing with other dogs and prefer to be with people. In fact, this is true of most adult dogs. And some pups are just that way. 
"Socializing" a dog does not mean playing with and being around other dogs, like it does with humans. Dogs are not like kids in this way. All parents are concerned when their kids don't relate well with other kids. That is simply not a concern with dogs, or it shouldn't be. Socializing a dog means helping the dog to adjust to and be comfortable in human society. There are many very well socialized dogs who don't care to interact with other dogs; they are polite and appropriate with them, nothing more. And a submissive temperament is hard-wired. She's never going to learn to "stand up to the bullies" and "hold her own" against them. What she may do instead is become dog reactive, which can be a huge problem. 
I would not subject a puppy to any situation that makes her feel insecure or uncomfortable; she is not learning anything good there and could even begin to have worse problems with other dogs. 8-10 months is a major fear period in puppies, so you want to be careful with this. I would allow her to be with dogs she knows and likes, like your neighbor's dog. 
Regarding the daycare, are they doing temperament testing before allowing/accepting dogs into their facility? ALL good daycares do. There simply should not be ANY alphas or aggressive dogs ina  well-run daycare. 
I would stop sending her to daycare. Is she in any training classes? That would be a much better way for her to spend time around other dogs without these problems. You might also consider hiring a dog walker once or twice a week; many of them walk multiple dogs at one time, which is a great way for dogs to become comfortable with each other. 

[J and Riley (and Luna)]

I agree fully that the submissive temperament is hard-wired.

Luna was very much a submissive dog right from puppyhood. She was nervous around big dogs (and any dog of any size that was barking at her).  It didn't matter if it was a tiny chihuahua or a huge mastiff... if they barked at her she tried to hide.  Luna would have had a really tough time at doggie daycare since she had trouble playing with any dog that wasn't a close friend of hers that she could trust.

Riley is very much hard-wired to be a calm and confident dog.  We noticed the difference right away with  her.  Big dog comes at her lunging and barking?  No problem, Riley just stands her ground and calmly greets them.  It's pretty amazing to see the difference in personality.  I have no doubt that Riley would do fine in doggie daycare because she is so self-assured.

[Leslie J]

This is exactly how Cocoa acted both times she went to dog parks- she started out happy to say hi but ended up under my chair.  She loves to say hi to all the dogs she knows while we go on walks (all dogs on leash) but at the dog park becomes overwhelmed by what I call “exuberant’ dogs- especially if they’re large. She is less intimidated by small dogs but many small dogs don’t seem to like larger dogs (Cocoa is about 50 lbs.) and bark at her. 

I have concluded that offleash play areas are not for Cocoa- she is mostly a “People” dog!

[DonMarie and Picco]

I don't think Picco likes doggy daycare scene.  I thought he would like it because he loves to play.   I notice he does good with a 2-3 dogs but there is a such thing as too many. I watched him for awhile when I walked in to pick him up and he holds his ground but seems like nervous play.  After a couple sessions I decided it isn't the thing for him.   

[Maryann,Roo and Tigger]

I am not a fan of doggy day care.  What Karen says is sensible as always.  I would try to find a dog walking service which does not take the dogs to a dog park to let them run.  Just a plain old walk is better.  Alternatively, an 8 month old puppy is old enough to stay at home all day in an indoor playpen with water, an indestructible toy and a dog potty in the corner.  When you come home, walk her right away, it will be good for both of you.  Then play with her after dinner.  If possible a quick fifteen minute walk before you leave for work would be great for her.

[J and Riley (and Luna)]

Yep - I feel like the pup just staying home and maybe being bored is safer.  Luna stayed home by herself from the time she was about 10 weeks old while we were at work.  There was always a bit of a mess when we got home but she was safe and healthy.

Riley is at home alone right now (15 weeks old) in a gated-off area with a few kongs, a bowl of water, a towel to sleep on + a few pee pads.

[Nancy, Ned, Clancy, and Charlie]

Socialization for a dog actually means YOU exposing them to situations/places/noises they are likely to encounter in their lives so they aren’t intimidated. For example, taking your pup near a school with all those kids- watching  recess through the fence, watching dismissal from the car, and walking on the sidewalk when all those kids are going home. Sitting on the park and watching the kids play or sport team practice. Walking on a variety of streets- traffic sounds, train crossing, lots of people. Walking up and down stairs or elevators or over those grates. Playing with your neighbor’s dog. Meeting other dogs or people when out walking. I’m making up specifics, but that’s socialization. 

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

Exactly. 
Training classes in public places (Petco, a park district facility) are also great socialization opportunities. Take the dog with you to have your oil changed, many auto repair places let you bring dogs in, and that's a great chance to have them around strange sights and sounds as well as strange men.
Even going to the vet's office and just sitting in the waiting room is valuable, not just for socialization, but also to show them that something bad doesn't always happen when you walk into that building, lol.
Further along in Jack's socialization, we visited the police and fire departments, too. 

[J and Riley (and Luna)]

A slight bonus to us living in the middle of new house construction is Riley is pretty unphased by typically "scary" noises like power tools and banging.

She still doesn't trust those people in hard hats though...

[DonMarie and Picco]

Home Depot is another place to go. And different floor surfaces are a challenge for some. Picco doesn't like Home Depot - slippery floors & carts. Loud noises don't bother him. We went to a baseball game with fireworks - no problem. He's been to get oil changed, car washes but he won't step into the library - tiled entrance. I had a problem walking him on a big city intersection with the stripes painted on the road! That was embarrassing! You don't think about it till it happens. When my husband taught high school, he got to go a few times. He was okay in the carpeted classroom but the pattern tile floor freaked him out!

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

Jack was terrified of the linoleum floors and carts in pet supply stores when I first got him. He got over it with time and practice. Free samples helped a lot, lol! 

[Sue, Murphy and Bella ()*o*()]

I agree with all mentioned here and unless you need dog-sitting, it seems day care is not really giving you or your pup what is really needed, exercise and playtime.  And that you can do before and after work on your own.  I don't bring mine to daycare because, well for one, we are home all day, but one is a bit anxious and will get what appears to be aggressive around other dogs, it's more defensive I think, but he looks angry. The other is like your pup and will just roll over and is  totally non confrontational and will go hide between a humans legs when another dog gets too aggressive. So we chose to just not have them be around many other strange dogs.

They are however around 4 other dogs regularly and stay at their houses when we have to be out of town, so they have learned appropriate behaviors where needed and that;s good enough for me. I have no need to make one less anxious as he just is, or the other more comfortable around aggressive dogs because I don't need her to be around any aggresive dogs.  It;s  really whatever your dogs personality can comfortably adjust to and what is really needed in your human world for them to adjust to.  My two are just more happy with people and I like it that way and think it's fine. They are 10 and 8 years old.  Let her stay home where she is happy and feels safe and do all you can WITH her on weekends.  Walks, car rides, hikes, trips to stores, Vets office is a great one, finding one or two good dogs she can play with if available is plenty.