Help w/ my husband!

[K Frey]

Hey, everybody! Thank you to all of you who have welcomed me to this forum with open arms! I can tell how much you all love your Doodles! I want to be a part of this too! Long story short, I'd actually love to have another baby- we already have a 6 yr old boy and a 4 yr old girl, so we have the "million dollar family" already. My husband is completely content and wants no more children. But, I can't help that motherly instinct in me always feeling the need to care for something. KWIM??? Soooo, I thought that maybe bringing a puppy into our family would be a nice compromise. I'd get a little of what I need and the kids would surely love having a puppy too. But, again, my husband really dislikes the idea! He says that they're too messy, bark too much, smell funny, demand too much or our time, and keep you from being able to just pick up and go when you want to. Obviously I realize that all these things are somewhat true, but can focus on the positive things you get from a loving companion. I mean, kids are hard work too- but totally worth it! So what's a girl to do?! I'm a stay at home mom, so I would be the primary caregiver to the dog and I do have the time and attention to devote to him/ her.
So what do you think... I am in over my head? Is there any way to bring my husband around? Any thoughts/ advice would be great!

Thanks so much for "listening" to my rambling!!

Kristin

[1xar0x2rcx0li]

Is your vehicle big enough to bring the dog along when you "pick up and go"? Find a good kennel where you can board the dog so your hubby knows he still has his freedom if he wants a weekend away that isnt dog friendly. Tell him you will get a doodle that doesnt shed, doesnt bark, doesnt smell, and entertains itself. Now that is all a white lie, but once the little puppy licks his hand and falls asleep on his lap he wont care anymore about a little hair and some puppy dirt.

You could always bring out the "it would make me happy. You want me to be happy don't you"? But that is usually saved for serious things, like your second doodle in about a year! GL.

[Allyson, Peri & Taquito]

Yes, make sure there is a good kennel or doggy daycare around you. My husband and I do not have kids yet, so our dogs are our children. We are still in travel mode and try to take the pups with us most of the time. If our dogs cannot come, they stay with family or friends. This weekend we are leaving our doodle at her daycare for boarding. Decided 3 days with her "friends" will make her very happy and tired when we return!

[Kaytlin and Cooper]

A dog would be a wonderful addition to your family. Your children would benefit so much from it, as would you (and even your husband). A well trained dog is not messy (they learn their spot outside to go bathroom), they can be trained not to bark (some, like mine, do not bark anyway). Labradoodles do not have the typical `doggy`smell, they dont demand any more time than children do (less most likely, especially as your children can entertain it) and dont prevent you from just picking up and going any more than children do. A well trained dog will always have people wanting to doggy sit for you. or you can pay a professional dog sitter or use a boarding kennel.

The breed of dog you get will make all the difference. Some breeds are easier than others. A doodle is definitely a good choice. I dont know much about other types of doodles, but I have a 5 1/2 month old multi-generation Australian Labradoodle. Because she is a multi generation and from a well established breeder (Gemstones Labradoodles in BC Canada) she has predictable characteristics and does not shed at all. She is still bouncy and energetic, but she loves to sit in out laps for cuddles, does not bark, slept all through the night after 2 days with us, potty trained pretty well (only the first few weeks were tough) and loves everyone she meets (adults, children, other dogs and cats). Labs and poodles are both very intelligent dogs, and so therefore are labradoodles. Cooper learnt sit come follow and fetch in just 3 days!!!!!!

This was my first dog (my husband had dogs as he grew up but wasnt involved in training them) so we bought the Puppies for Dummies book, which was fantastic. If you train your dog from the moment it enters your house, your husband will have no problems with it (even love it).


Im sure your husband will say we are all biased - we are all "dog people"... but I had never had a dog, im a cat person lol, but getting a dog was a great idea, im glad my husband suggested it. I chose the breed as i dont like doggy smell and the cats leave enough fur around the house!!!! I even chose the breeder... though we let her choose the actual puppy - we told her what kind of dog we wanted and she matched us with the perfect puppy for our lifestyle

[Adina P]

I would agree that with training...dogs are pretty easy! But not during puppyhood--those CAN be trying times as they learn the rules and have endless energy to burn constantly. Some doodles are more energy and more trying than others...but again, if you invest the time in training (find a very well respected trainer locally who has a great track record for teaching owners to train their dogs well), once puppyhood is over dogs are way easier than kids. I don't have kids yet, but one on the way...and everything I'm learning convinces me kids are far more difficult and time consuming. You can leave dogs home alone sooner, you can crate a dog, you don't have to entertain it constantly, it eats without assistance, no diapers to change, they don't beg for toys or food their friends have or they've seen on tv, I could go on and on and on =)

I also think Jane's suggestion of going to a doodle romp would be a good idea...NJ and PA frequently have doodle romps so it might be a good idea to take your hubby just so he can see. I think for a decision like owning a dog (that although easier than kids...still demanding of your time) ALL family members really need to be on board--even if he's not excited as you...he should at least be able to say "okay fine...get a doodle." Most likely he will fall in love with it, BUT you need to be prepared that he may not. You need to be 100% okay if you do ALL the work...every last drop of it. All the bathing, all the grooming, all the feeding, all the food buying, all the training, all the vet visits, all the medication giving, all the pee and poo clean up if there is an accident or blow-out, all the flea/tick prevention, all of the muddy paw clean up, all the bad habit prevention, etc...etc. If he gets annoyed with barking, mouthing, nipping, jumping on his friends...you need to be prepared to put in the time to train regardless of whether he's helpful or willing to learn your training method. If he says okay and if you're okay with doing it ALL...then go for it.

[Adina P]

Ooooh I want to add...sometimes doodles DO stink. But it's more their thick, sponge-like beards that can carry water and saliva and get nasty. Mine don't have a bad body odor...occasionally, but not typically.

[F, Calla & Luca]

I keep my dogs hair short under the chin. I like the look better especially for a female--a little anthropomorphism probably. The fact that it's cleaner and they drip less is also good. Although occasionally in really damp weather you might get a little "doggyness" in the air, my doodles don't smell. I don't think this is because all my senses are getting less keen :)

[Melissa & Porter]

sometimes doodles DO stink. But it's more their thick, sponge-like beards that can carry water and saliva and get nasty.

so true!

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

The doodles who have hair coats and shed, like my Jack, have that same "wet dog" odor when they get wet that any other shedding breed has.

[F, Calla & Luca]

Egad--I would never have gotten even one dog had I read this.

[F, Calla & Luca]

Maybe I'll get some more. This really makes it sound easier than it usually is.and I don't have anyone who can keep my dogs when I'm away. Luckily I have found great care with my trainer but it gets pretty expensive.

[Adina P]

"But, I can't help that motherly instinct in me always feeling the need to care for something."

Regarding this...would a CAT be acceptable to your hubby? Just to be a devil's advocate for the other side (since most of the responses have been positive in the sense of 'go for it') I think most people benefit from pets, but it all depends. The last thing you'd want is for your hubby to really hate the idea and resent the dog and to have to find it a different home because they didn't get along. NOW, most likely that won't happen if you are committed to full ownership/care of the pup...but just in case...something to think about.

The other thought I had is that "motherly" care isn't quite what dogs need. YES they need cuddles, attention, demonstrated loving feelings, but if you are the main caregiver of the pup...you'll sorta need to be 'the dad' too...if that makes sense. You'll have to be a bit of a disciplinarian and set CLEAR boundaries and give CLEAR direction and not overly coddle puppy either. Pups are not meant to be treated quite like infants and you can get an awfully spoiled little dog if you treat it as a child rather than as a dog. This has nothing to do with a need to be harsh or super punitive...it just means that dogs don't need a 'mother' as much as a benevolent leader. You don't want to be in the role of "good guy" while your hubby is the "bad guy" because the pup is acting naughty and he didn't want it in the first place.

[F, Calla & Luca]

So do kids much of the time.