My doodle's time was up. ;-(

[Mandy & Benny]

On Sunday night I lost my best friend, my Riley.  I was out of town for the weekend, Riley was staying with my parents while I was gone.  On Saturday he started throwing up and my dad noticed blood on his tail after he went to the bathroom.  They took him to the emergency vet and he was diagnosed with gastroenteritis.  They gave him flagyl, something for nausea, and a bolus of fluids.  The vet said if they wanted him to stay over night he could, but he believed Riley was okay to go home.  My parents took him back to their house.  I returned early Sunday afternoon to my little pal unable to stand or barely lift his head.  My usual greeting of a tail wag and a lick was nowhere to be seen.  The vet said he would be lethargic and probably wouldn't be eating or drinking much.  I got him to drink a little water while his head was laying on my lap.  He seemed to perk up a little, stood up, and walked upstairs to the main floor of the house.  I thought this was a good sign.  I lay next to him all afternoon, just petting him and giving him hugs.  He ate a few pieces of chicken and drank a little water.  I had to run out for a couple of hours but had no reason to think anything would happen while I was gone.  My parents were there and he was looking a little better.  After being gone for about an hour, they called to have me meet them at the emergency vet.  He had started bleeding from his behind quite a bit.  When they pulled into the lot I opened the back door of the car.  I saw his sweet face, his eyes open with little tears going down, and he wasn't breathing.  The vet rushed him inside but couldn't bring him back.  I was, and I'm still hysterical.  I can't forgive myself for leaving him when he needed me the most.  I'm just sick over it.  That dog was my child, the one I went home to.  Now I can't stand to be in my house.  He's everywhere there, except embraced in a hug from me.  Has anyone else had an experience like this where the dog was energetic, bouncing around, and healthy one day and then gone the next?  I asked the vet how this could have happened if they weren't terribly concerned the night before.  She said it could be anything- he could've gone into shock from the fluid and blood loss, his stomach could've twisted (he wasn't bloated though), or maybe he ate something that irritated his system, passed it, and then was sick from that.  In the xrays done the first night, there were no obstructions.  The vet only noticed excessive gas- and my dog was the greatest because he RARELY greeted us with a curious odor.  Besides a bit of inflammation, that was the only out of the ordinary thing they found.  I keep trying to put the pieces together, what I should have done differently, how I could have prevented this.  Any wise words you can share? 

[Joanna, Zoe & Bender]

Oh Mandy, I am so so so sorry for your loss. Gastroenteritis is such a mystery and there's really nothing you could've done so please don't do that to yourself. He was loved and you did everything for him. Rest in peace Riley.

[BG and Gavin]

My heart breaks for you Mandy.  I will keep a good thought as you try to work through this devastating loss.  Please do not blame yourself.  Things happen and we never know the reason.

[Lori, Daphne, Lucy & Pippa]

Ooh Mandy, I sooo wish I could take away your pain and guilt! I know this will hurt for quite a while. I blamed myself for the death of my little poodle because I wasnt there when he needed me. I hope you can find some comfort in the memories you made with him. He was like your child and he did know how very much you loved him!!! People need time to grieve for dogs just like for people. Sometimes I think it's worse when you lose your best friend because he was always there for you. I hope you can feel the love from everyone here at DK. We would all like to surround you with love and hugs! 

[Emily and Sophie]

So sorry for your loss! I bet Reilly loved you very much

[Camilla and Darwin]

I'm so sorry for your loss, thinking of you today...

[Janie, Jackson and Jilly]

I am so very sorry for you. Sending hugs...

[Janelle & Finley]

I am so sorry for your loss.

[Amy, Cubbie & Ollie]

Mandy, I'm so sorry for your loss and can only imagine the pain you must feel.  Do not blame yourself.  It was just Riley's time and he lived a good life surrounded by your love.  We are all thinking of you and sending love and hugs your way.

[Kaytlin and Cooper]

i am so sorry for your loss. please take comfort that you got to spend some time with him before he left, and you didnt leave him alone. please dont feel bed for going out

[Joanne ~ Spud*]

Mandy, I can not express in any words how sad I am for you. You know, guilt has no place here, but I know, you will always feel guilt. Your house, your heart, your pictures, your memories, just can't make up for your loss. It truly is overwhelming.
I have no advice. An idea for you might be to foster or volunteer in Riley's honor. No, he can not be replaced. Not Ever. It helps displace your grief by helping those ( dogs ) living with their own sadness and grief. You help each other.
But that comes down the road. Today is just a day to cry. I'll cry with you. />
With tears, I wish you peace through all your grief.

[F, Calla & Luca]

I am so sorry to hear about Riley. All the things the vet said are possibilities and I'm sure there are more. Every so often we are reminded of the fragility of life. I don't think there was anything more you could have done and at least Riley was with people he knew and loved, which I think is better than dying at the vet's with no one right there necessarily. So I hope you and your folks don't continue to feel guilty since you did what you could.

[Donna K & Quincy]

Mandy, I am so terribly sorry for the loss of your beautiful Riley. I understand your grief and utter sadness at the loss of your best friend. We all beat ourselves up with what ifs, but we will never know the answers. Please know that we are all thinking of you and pray for the day to come soon when you can remember him with smiles as well as tears.