Feeling SO guilty and missing my doodle time

[Sue, Murphy and Bella ()*o*()]

As most of you may know, our son and DIL and 21 month old grandson moved in with us briefly until they could find a house. We now have 4 adults, 4 dogs and one baby in our home. Basically I call it "9 mouths to feed". As that is all I seem to be doing. Planning meals, shopping for meals, and then preparing and cleaning up from meals. At any given time from 4:30 am to 7:30 pm, someone is either eating, looking for food to eat, or asking what there is to eat or what we are going to eat for the next meal. Ofcourse the dogs and baby do not ask, they just wonder around aimlessly looking for food by either whining, barking or climbing all over my legs.

I have been mostly taking care of our grandson as son and DIL are working and at the moment I am not, so I am the obvious choice and not that it's at all a hardship, actually it's a pure pleasure, but I am finding that the only time I have with my doodles is time spent feeding them, filling water bowls, a quick brushing every 2 weeks and otherwise trying to get them to stop eating the baby's toys or steal his food. I have had very little if any time to spend training, which we did every day, I have only taken them on 3 walks or to the dog park in 6 weeks and it took me 3 weeks to give one of them a much needed bath. There is no grooming, no ball throwing, no homecooked meals, no cuddle time on the couch, no car rides to Petsmart for treats, no slow fun walks to smell all the smells in the neighborhood, no trimming of hair around eyes or ears, no brushing of teeth, no nothing!!!! I am in the same house with them and I miss them terribly. I feel sad for them and wonder how in the world owners with children give their doodles the time and attention needed.

 

I promise myself and them that I am going to spend all day tomorrow just being a doodle mommy! Maybe then I will feel less guilty for a little while.

 

[Nicky, Riley & Boris]

"And this too shall pass"

[Lisa, Daisy & Dexter]

Oh Sue how I feel your pain. Just a brief summary....DD got a job close to us and further from their apartment. We tried "helping" them find a place closer that they could rent but DH did not like the neighborhoods they could afford and SIL was in med school and working nights most of the time, leaving DD to walk their dogs. Long story short we offered them to move in with us they were here with their 2 dogs and cat for 2 years. It was great most of the time but 4 independent adults living in one home does tend to wear on everyone. Jane said it right, the MOM comes out and nurture is what I did. Made lunches, made dinner, they took care of their own breakfast.We have a two story ranch, the basement was theirs, thankfully it is finished and like a little apt sans a kitchen.

They were grateful and we were thankful when they bought their own home which they were able to do sticking to a strict budget...we are all happy it's over and we really never speak of it. You will have good times and bad but in the end, you are doing a very wonderful thing for your son and DIL.

[Linda, Webber and Seda]

Unless your DIL and Son work on the weekends too, one of those days should be yours, if not both.  If I were you I would get up first and be gone by the time the rest of the household got up!  Take the doods to the park, take a walk, have lunch at an outdoor cafe and show up at home in time for dinner.  Come through the door yelling "I am home!  What's for dinner".  Surely they will get your point!  Good luck.  Report back to us.

[Jane, Rooney & Stuart]

Sue -  us moms tend to "over" help.  What you are doing is wonderful but you can't burn yourself out like this.  Declare that one day a week is "their" day to cook, clean and do the child care.  Then you devote the day to yourself and your doodles.  You'll be happy looking forward to your day every week and it will remind them what a saint that you are - lol!!!

[Lorraine Bromley]

Just think that having a baby and others in the house with different routines and rules around a baby are a wonderful training experience in itself that some other doodles would be better off if they had. Consider your doodles really lucky...for now.

[Pat and Traveler]

Me 'n Trav are on our way over to your house.  We want to live with you!  P. S.--what's for dinner?

[F, Calla & Luca]

Mom out to dinner, Laurie has the right idea. Or maybe everyone else go to dinner and leave mom with her doodles.

[Jennifer and Jack]

I just wanted to add that I think we all go through seasons in our life when the dogs get more or less attention. I have to change the amount Jack gets based on what is going on in my life, Sometimes he gets three long walks a day and my undivided attention and other times he gets the basics of what he needs.

 

As far as training, when you can devote more time to it, they will pick up where you left off. Life is going to happen and sometimes you can't do exactly what you want.

 

I do agree with the others, You have four grown ups in the house, as much as it is our tendency to take over and do, remember, if you don't speak up and ask for help, kids especially will let you do.

 

You deserve a break....

 

Hugs

J&J

[Jodi and Stella]

Yes, I think it's definately time to delegate some duties. You need a little help so you can have some time for yourself and your pooches.

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Sue, Didn't you just retire? This does not sound like how retirement should be...LOL! I hate to cook, so I can't even imagine having to do it all day long. I agree with Donna. You have a life too. Even though this is only temporary, you should not have to do all the housework and cooking. I think it is time someone took mom out to dinner :)