Getting Our Christmas On and Up!!

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

 

 

Every year, it seems that we start putting up Christmas earlier and earlier.  When I was growing up, we put our tree up the week before Christmas and my dad passed out funny gifts that he picked out for us based on things we had done that year. One year, I made him spaghetti and the recipe called for a cup of onions. I didn’t have real onions, so I put in a whole cup of dehydrated onions. Needless to say, I think we went out to dinner that night. That Christmas I got several jars of dehydrated onions. Another year, my oldest sister was pregnant and dad made a nursing bra that had one white cup and one brown cup and he said it was for white and chocolate milk. I guess looking back, it didn’t make a lot of sense, but we all cracked up when she opened the gift, especially because that sister got embarrassed easily. Growing up, we put up one white tree with green and blue balls (matched the décor) and we had one of those revolving lights that made your tree change colors. I don’t remember much else in the way of decorations and now I put up six trees in my house and almost every room in my house has some decorations. I don’t know how it all happened, but every Christmas I swear we are cutting back next year.

 

Getting all that crap those decorations out of our garage has turned into one of our least favorite days of the year for my husband. He tells me every year his next wife will be Jewish and we usually have a minor setback, disagreement, or incident. One year, in our old house, my husband was in the attic and the next thing we knew his leg came through the ceiling in my daughter’s room. I quickly found out that the correct response in that situation is not, “what did you do that for?” Another year, he painstakingly attached these new candle lights I purchased to our tree and plugged it in to unveil the results.  I took one look and turned into Joan Crawford with her wire hangers…”Blinking lights. You know I hate blinking lights!” and let’s just say those blinking lights never saw another Christmas.

 

A couple of years ago, he tried the old stall tactic on decorating day. I thought we were all ready to start and found my husband in the kitchen slowly sipping (and who was counting) three cups of coffee. Every time I said, “Let’s go, Speedy,” he would say his coffee was still too hot to drink and take a little tentative sip. Finally, he finished with his coffee and I came around the corner and found him eating a piece of string cheese. At that point in time, we had been married 30 plus years and I had never seen my husband eat cheese in the morning, so I knew this was just another calculated delay. I thought about lining some food crumbs through the house and luring him out to the garage, but in the end, I did what I do best, and yelled.

 

The tension continued when John told me I had my sweat pants on inside out. Because we lost so much time with the cheese and coffee, I opted to leave them that way.  This particular year was the first year we were able to view the results of a plan my engineer husband had concocted the previous year. He had decided the year prior to put a different color of tape (4 in all) on the boxes he was putting away and each color represented a different area of the house. It was supposed to make it easier to tell what box went where in the house. This is one of those ideas that sounds good on paper, but in reality was iffy.  Right off the bat, there was a problem locating the tiny piece of tape on each box.  We probably could have used a microscope or a GPS system.  When I asked John if he thought this system up all by himself, he told me to come closer because he just thought of something he would like to tape.

 

Even with this new system, we couldn’t find some of the boxes.  After half of the boxes came down, I started to worry because I did not see any of the foyer boxes.  I put a white tree in my foyer and decorate it with blue, silver, and crystal ornaments and balls.   A woman with her pants on inside out in a panic is not a pretty sight.  I guess I must have asked more than once about those foyer boxes because John started shouting, “I do not have any blue balls….there are no blue balls up here!”   We started laughing, but in the back of my mind I was thinking there might be if he did not find those boxes.   Finally, we got all the boxes down and grouped into the colors.  The last stumbling block happened when John had to locate his notes from the year before because no one knew what tape went with what room.  Luckily, there was no cheese in the garage, so that only took about 30 minutes. 

 

This year, and YES I realize it is too soon, Christmas arrived at our house in mid October. The older John and I are getting, the longer and harder it is becoming to get all of our Christmas decorations down and up around the house. Next year, we are probably going to have to start in July.  John always takes one day off work to help and this year, I tried to give out hugs throughout the day to lighten the mood. Towards the end of the day when I would say, “How about a hug?” he started responding back that he would love a hug as long as I did not care how hard he hugged me back.  By bedtime, we were both hobbling around and fighting over his recliner that has a massage and heat system.

I promised him just about anything that night, if he let me go first in that chair, but we both knew if I could get my tired and hurt body into bed the only leg action I would be doing was elevating them on a pillow.

So, there you have it. Keep in mind, we are not so crazy as to light everything up until my mom, aunt, and uncle arrive sometime next week. The week after is my Cookie party and for my sanity, I just need to have it all done before company arrives.  I do know that every Thanksgiving, when we sit down to dinner, my husband and I always count the fact that we are done decorating as one of our blessings.

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Christine, We are shocked too....every year....by how much stuff we have..LOL!

[Christine & Shelby]

Wow..... All I can say is wow!  

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Donna, Come on over to the "lights" side :) Your poor DH. Of course, he wants his name on those Doodle Cards. LOL I think we are in the same group this year.

[Donna K & Quincy]

I've been working all weekend but for some reason I have had this inexplicable urge to put up a christmas tree, which is something I never do until mid December. This is really strange because I have turned in to a bit of a Grinch these last few years and Christmas has just become too much work. This year I find myself working on Doodle christmas cards ( which I have to do over because DH is feeling a little left out that I left his name off the cards) and yearning to trim the tree. WTD? Just for the record I have a two tree limit.

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Thanks, Jennifer. Good luck with your lone decorating!

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Joanne, LOL. I will tell John your new message :) He is going to be thrilled someone on DK is on his side.

Pat, Awww....I will tell Vern he is a star now!! He is a big ole' loveable lug. LOL Your way is probably much easier and less stressful. No way are you a Grinch. Tell your daughter thanks!!

Camilla, Thanks. I remember when I only had a few boxes of stuff. What the heck happened along the way?? LOL

[Jennifer,Chloe & Myla]

Wow you sound like a great team! You would need a day off for that! I can hardly get mine to get one tree out of the attic (I decorate it) you are very ambitious with that many trees! So the plan is this week to try to drag it out by myslef and get it done while he's at work. It's easier and more enjoyable that way! You did good!!!

[Camilla and Darwin]

Laurie, I have loved putting up my decorations thus far. Probably because I ONLY have 4 boxes of Christmas stuff and I make DH do all the outdoor lights. (living in an apt doesn't leave much space to decorate anyhow.)

 

I was laughing hysterically during the whole post. Of course. :-)

[Pat and Traveler]

Wow--I haven't really gotten over the six trees part!  If I put up six trees there wouldn't be room for anything else, including people and doodles!  Hilarious blog, Laurie.  I must admit, I've cut down drastically on decorating.  There are a few boxes of decorations in the attic, and I select some items to put around the house, and that's pretty much it.  Whata Grinch! 

On a completely different note, my daughter was looking over the Labra&Golden calendar and the Puppy calendar, and she spotted VERN as her favorite doodle!  "He looks like a big 'ole loveable lug..."  So give Vern an extra hug from her for being such an adorable dood.  :)

[Joanne ~ Spud*]

Dear John,

If you are as Full of S#@!t as I am, this would take care of the attic, garage, and most other rooms Laurie is storing all the Christmas stuff.  

If all else fails, put a sign up, " More Groundhogs Invited"

Nice talking with you, John.