Grieving Doodle?

[Barbara Thomas]

Hi, I'm new to the board and am writing on behalf of me and my 7-year-old Doodle, Max. About a month ago we lost our two senior Goldens, within 3 weeks of each other. We were all very bonded and I'm worried that Max is lonely. I enrolled him in a different daycare, with lots of other Doodles to play with. but he isn't as active there as I'd hoped. He'll play with one or two dogs but mostly hangs around the trainers.


He's really happy when my son's family and especially my grandson, comes to visit but when it's just the two of us, he's up in my lap or sleeping on the floor. Previously he and his two brothers would be wrestling and chasing all over the house.

I've wondered if I should adopt another Golden for him but also concerned it would make him feel displaced or jealous. I'm eager for any thoughts or suggestions. Thanks Barbara

PS. Max is a rescue who became part of my family 5 years ago after being in two different homes and a shelter. He's a wonderful dog and I want him to feel secure and loved.

[Bonnie and Kona]

Sorry to just be just responding. When our Golden died, Kona was grieving so deeply. We did not plan to get another dog but Kona was so very sad, we got Owen. Kona has never really bonded with Owen. I think old Earle was just right for Kona, and the terribly exuberant Owen has always been a bit much for him. When our first Golden died the second seemed to be okay and loved Kona the minute we got him. We lost 3 dogs in 3 years. I can't imagine losing both Goldens at once. I hope you and Max recover joy for life soon.

[Maryann,Roo and Tigger]

I am so sorry for you and Max.  It is so hard that dogs do not live as long as we do.  Max will recover in his own time, probably in tune with you.  I took my "left behind" dogs for long walks, as much for me as for them.  All of my dogs received a new companion very happily.  It brought much needed laughter into our home again.   Again - my heart goes out to you and max

  

[F, Calla & Luca]

I am very sorry to hear about your double loss. I would say you should do what's best for you and Max will be fine with whatever that is.

[cheryl & oliver]

I am so sorry for your loss..We had two Aussies, that were really very close. we got the second one when the first one was about 8 yrs old, so the younger one was never without the older one. When we had to put our beautiful old man to sleep, the younger one was lost, he sighed an cried all the time, he refused to eat, I was spoon feeding him, and he drank very little. I was so upset, that after about a month, I went to the vet with him, and he said he was fine physically, but emotionally he was grieving very hard.  We decided to get another dog, and that was when we got Oliver, ( our goldendoodle, ) it made all the difference in the world to him, and he loved this little, lol, or large puppy...Rennie lived for another 3 yrs, he passed at the ripe old age of 14. Oliver looked for him for a bit, he would look all over the house and then stare at me, I was told to sit with him and explain tha Rennie was not here anymore, he would always be here for him to smell, or sense that he is here..At first I thought, yeah right, but I did it, I sat on the floor and talked to this beautiful creature that is so much a part of our life, he kept looking at me, of course I was in tears, but he never stopped looking at me, and don't ask me how or why, but afte that he was different.  Did he understand??I will never know, but I hope he did, i want to believe he did.  well now after I have rambled on, I say yes, if you can get another dog, i think it is wonderful...It certainly helped our situation..and I think that yours would like to have a friend again..

[Lynda Kamrath]

We have been through this many times, most recently about a year and a half ago when Groucho Too went to the rainbow bridge.  It seems to me that doodles are more susceptible to grief than other dogs.  When one of our dogs lose their partner they become quiet and depressed.  We have decided to always have at least two dogs and accept the responsibility that goes with that.  Two dogs is more difficult than one.

[Jane, Guinness and Murphy]

I am so sorry for your loss.  I agree that this is a decision that you must make.  I wouldn't get another dog just because you think Max might be lonely.  If you are feeling a void and would like to have another dog, then I'd say go for it.  I personally would not bring a puppy into the household....at age 7 Max might not want to deal with an active puppy.  I would look for an older dog with the right temperament.  One thing I truly believe is that dogs are able to move on.  They don't experience things for as long as we do.  I'm guessing he's just fine with having other dogs to play with at Daycare (on his terms) and then come home to be with you. 

[Nancy, Ned, Clancy, and Charlie]

I am so sorry for your loss.  I think the decision to get, or not to get another dog is really one only you can make.  I am sure that Max is grieving - as you are - and I am sure he will adjust either to a new addition in your home, or to being your only adored pup. It sounds like you provide a wonderful and loving home.  Follow your heart.

[Lori, Daphne, Lucy & Pippa]

I am so very sorry for your loss and Max's. Do you have any friends with dog that he can play with? He may just be feeling a little insecure at daycare because he is all alone there without his comfort and security. I would take him to see other dogs that he knows. See if he interacts with them. It would be so much easier if we could just explain it to them. I do think he needs a playmate when you are ready. You could get a Doodle from Doodle Rescue.

[Linda, Charlie Brown and Beau]

I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your two goldens - that just has to be so difficult. I think the daycare is a great idea and I would think taking him for walks each day would help to brighten his spirit.  Hang in there!

[Wendy and Myla]

Aw, that makes my heart break.  So very sorry for the loss of your two goldens - that is so hard to deal with.  I have no experience in this situation, but I'm thinking that maybe you should give yourself and Max some time before adding another dog to the mix.  I'm sure that Max is grieving the loss of his playmates and added to that, I'm sure he feels your pain and is trying to comfort you. If he's not really interacting with other dogs at the daycare, it sounds like he just needs to be with you and get his loving and security from you.  Later on, I think you will know if it's time to get a new dog, I'm sure!