Labradoodle & Goldendoodle Forum
Heartbreak and tears
So, as most of you know, I have been anxiously waiting for my new puppy for months; asking questions, shopping, and reading EVERYTHING so that I would know what to do. My countdown to January 30th started the day she was born. She was the best looking pup of the bunch!
At about 6 weeks old, the pup I had picked out sprained her right wrist while still with the breeder (Sharon). By some freak accident, the mom-dog stepped on her just right and tore the ligaments holding her carpal bones together. Though it swelled, there was no fracture, known infection, and her vet said it would heal and she shouldn't have any lasting problems. She took her to the vet multiple times for xrays, needle aspirations, pain meds, and prophylactic antibiotics, taking great care of her. Sharon gave me the option to pick another puppy (there was one not sold yet), but since there wasn't supposed to be any lasting effects, I decided to take the one I had originally picked. I named her Lizzie Louise. The last puppy in the litter sold immediately after that.
Fast forward to 1/30/09. Lizzie walks and runs on both legs and the right is slightly more swollen than the left leg, but much better than 2 weeks prior. I go to pick her up and take her home! I was SO excited. The whole way home, which ended up being 8 hours due to visiting bunches of family along the way, she was very sweet, but very sleepy. She kept refusing food and treats, but did drink plenty of water. I figured it was just stress, and we would be fine. I introduce her to the feline siblings and get her settled in her new home!
AM of 1/31/09- First Vet visit. Vet finds that the leg is worse than sprained and does xrays. He is also worried that she is somewhat lethargic, so does bloodwork also. The xrays of the leg are terrible, and the joint is infected and had actually shrunk (lyced) the carpal bones, which were terribly misplaced. The puppy was also anemic, which was thought to be due to the infection. Therefore, she had a 1/6 systolic heart murmur secondary to the anemia (would clear up as soon as the anemia was cleared). So the prognosis was not good. If the puppy was not already septic (SCARY!), and we could get the infection controlled with antibiotics, we would still need to see an orthopedic surgeon someday to repair the leg. So my tears start.
I take her home, cry a bit, called my parents (because at 22, I still do that), talked it over with the boyfriend and finally call Sharon. She was very sweet and we talked about the options, and I just couldn't see giving up this beautiful puppy. So I decided to keep her and deal with the vet bills as they came.
2/1/09- Super bowl. Sharon and I both spend the whole night not sleeping trying to think of what to do. She e-mails me that morning and says that the best thing would be for me to bring her back and get a healthy puppy when the next litter arrives. Though it would be tough to let her go, I had to agree this would probably be best. I spent 10 years caring for a special-needs dog, and couldn't see doing it for another 10-15. At this point, Lizzie still hasn't eaten anything, and I am giving her a small dose NSAID every 12 hours. It appears to help her a little, but she is still very lethargic and sleeping. I end up having to force nutri-cal on her tongue just to introduce some calories. I had to ensure that Sharon was going to care for her then, if I wasn't going to.
2/2/09 I call Sharon back and tell her that I agree and I make plans to drive her back (3 hour trip) on Tuesday. I spend the day hugging and snuggling with Lizzie.
2/3/09. The hardest drive. I had a friend with me (since the boyfriend had to work) so that I wouldn't be alone. We drive all the way out there, and I was fine. But seeing her in the rear-view mirror as I drove away made me break down. I am crying just thinking about it. Sharon is going to do everything she can to get Lizzie back to good health. She has appointments to continue the plan of care. She promises to send me updates on her health and well-being.
And now I start the wait for another puppy, probably 5-6 months at best, once another golden Sharon has is bred. My house is still covered in puppy stuff because I can't bring myself to put it away yet. There's a water bowl, a bed, toys (though she never did play), crate, food, puppy books, everything. I think it will sit out for a few more days.
So though this is a very long blog post, I had to write my story out. I know in a year when I have a healthy puppy and life is good, I'll be okay. Right now I am heartbroken.
At about 6 weeks old, the pup I had picked out sprained her right wrist while still with the breeder (Sharon). By some freak accident, the mom-dog stepped on her just right and tore the ligaments holding her carpal bones together. Though it swelled, there was no fracture, known infection, and her vet said it would heal and she shouldn't have any lasting problems. She took her to the vet multiple times for xrays, needle aspirations, pain meds, and prophylactic antibiotics, taking great care of her. Sharon gave me the option to pick another puppy (there was one not sold yet), but since there wasn't supposed to be any lasting effects, I decided to take the one I had originally picked. I named her Lizzie Louise. The last puppy in the litter sold immediately after that.
Fast forward to 1/30/09. Lizzie walks and runs on both legs and the right is slightly more swollen than the left leg, but much better than 2 weeks prior. I go to pick her up and take her home! I was SO excited. The whole way home, which ended up being 8 hours due to visiting bunches of family along the way, she was very sweet, but very sleepy. She kept refusing food and treats, but did drink plenty of water. I figured it was just stress, and we would be fine. I introduce her to the feline siblings and get her settled in her new home!
AM of 1/31/09- First Vet visit. Vet finds that the leg is worse than sprained and does xrays. He is also worried that she is somewhat lethargic, so does bloodwork also. The xrays of the leg are terrible, and the joint is infected and had actually shrunk (lyced) the carpal bones, which were terribly misplaced. The puppy was also anemic, which was thought to be due to the infection. Therefore, she had a 1/6 systolic heart murmur secondary to the anemia (would clear up as soon as the anemia was cleared). So the prognosis was not good. If the puppy was not already septic (SCARY!), and we could get the infection controlled with antibiotics, we would still need to see an orthopedic surgeon someday to repair the leg. So my tears start.
I take her home, cry a bit, called my parents (because at 22, I still do that), talked it over with the boyfriend and finally call Sharon. She was very sweet and we talked about the options, and I just couldn't see giving up this beautiful puppy. So I decided to keep her and deal with the vet bills as they came.
2/1/09- Super bowl. Sharon and I both spend the whole night not sleeping trying to think of what to do. She e-mails me that morning and says that the best thing would be for me to bring her back and get a healthy puppy when the next litter arrives. Though it would be tough to let her go, I had to agree this would probably be best. I spent 10 years caring for a special-needs dog, and couldn't see doing it for another 10-15. At this point, Lizzie still hasn't eaten anything, and I am giving her a small dose NSAID every 12 hours. It appears to help her a little, but she is still very lethargic and sleeping. I end up having to force nutri-cal on her tongue just to introduce some calories. I had to ensure that Sharon was going to care for her then, if I wasn't going to.
2/2/09 I call Sharon back and tell her that I agree and I make plans to drive her back (3 hour trip) on Tuesday. I spend the day hugging and snuggling with Lizzie.
2/3/09. The hardest drive. I had a friend with me (since the boyfriend had to work) so that I wouldn't be alone. We drive all the way out there, and I was fine. But seeing her in the rear-view mirror as I drove away made me break down. I am crying just thinking about it. Sharon is going to do everything she can to get Lizzie back to good health. She has appointments to continue the plan of care. She promises to send me updates on her health and well-being.
And now I start the wait for another puppy, probably 5-6 months at best, once another golden Sharon has is bred. My house is still covered in puppy stuff because I can't bring myself to put it away yet. There's a water bowl, a bed, toys (though she never did play), crate, food, puppy books, everything. I think it will sit out for a few more days.
So though this is a very long blog post, I had to write my story out. I know in a year when I have a healthy puppy and life is good, I'll be okay. Right now I am heartbroken.
Comment
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Comment by Kyoko on February 6, 2009 at 6:27pm
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Oh.. I am so sorry about the puppy.....and the very tough choice you had to make...
I will be praying for Lizzy's recovery and for your healing.
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Comment by Pamela-Pambriella Goldendoodles on February 6, 2009 at 12:55pm
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I feel soooo sad for you! This must be very hard, but I too am sure you did the right thing. I will pray that she will heal and be home with you soon. I'm glad you have shared with us and if there is anything we can do to help, please let us know! I'm sure you can trust that she is being very well cared for with such a nice breeder!
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Comment by Nancy, Ned, Clancy, and Charlie on February 5, 2009 at 5:50pm
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Lizzie, I am so sad for you. This is so heartbreaking. Those of us on doodlekisses truly understand your sorrow.
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Comment by Tricia Campbell on February 5, 2009 at 11:59am
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Lizzie, I am very sad for you & that beautiful pup. I hope that you both have happiness soon, I pray that she will be able to heal.
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Comment by Leslie and Halas on February 5, 2009 at 9:04am
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I'm so sorry you had to go through that. What a horrible decision to be faced with. But you will eventually get the puppy that is meant for you. Sharon will take good care of Lizzie.
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Comment by Doodlegirl on February 5, 2009 at 8:58am
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Thinking of you Missi. You tried your best and then made the right choice for Lizzie, as hard as it is.
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Comment by Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle on February 5, 2009 at 8:08am
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Missi, I am just seeing this, and I have tears in my eyes for you and for Lizzie. I wish I could give you a hug.
Know that you did the right thing, and that time will heal the heartache you are feeling. All of us here are grieving with you.
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Comment by Janie on February 4, 2009 at 6:23pm
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Missi, I'm so sorry....my heart goes out to you both!
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Comment by Debra Ference-Luongo on February 4, 2009 at 4:38pm
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Hi Missi, I am very sorry to hear your story - to finally have your little pup and than need to make the tough decision to return her to the breeder. While it sounds as if Lizzie is in very good hands my thoughts go out to you while you grieve your loss of little Lizzie
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Comment by Jinae on February 4, 2009 at 2:55pm
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Missi,
I'm so sorry for you and little Lizzie. My finace and I just adopted her sister (Tesla) from Sharon. I'm sure Sharon will take great care of her! In the meantime you are in my and Tesla's thoughts.
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