Looking for advice about my dog's play with other dogs ... please help

[L.M.]

My 1 year old male goldendoodle, Seamus, has recently begun going to a dog park and has been doing great there with all the dogs.  He loves to play, is not aggressive, and just enjoys himself there.......EXCEPT when one particular dog is at the park.  When this dog is there, Seamus is terrified.  The other dog, a male lab, tries to dominate Seamus the entire time he's there.  He humps and barks/growls at him, but what really bothers me, is that he throws Seamus on the ground, on his back, and puts his mouth over Seamus' neck.  He does not bite down, but this bothers me like you would not believe.  This dog's owner lets him do it and my poor Seamus lays there and stares at me for help.  What do I do?? Others at the park agree that this behavior is a bit much, and then others tell me that I need to let Seamus stand up for himself.  Seamus will eventually go back at the lab, but the lab is bigger than Seamus and even when they start to play nice together, he still has the sole purpose of dominating Seamus.   Seamus is rather passive, but I also don't want to encourage aggression, as my husband and I have nieces and will have children one day....If I let this dog be aggressive with Seamus, will Seamus become aggressive in return??   Please please some advice would be great!!   

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

I'm not a fan of dog parks, particularly dog parks where the owners stand around watching and chatting while the dogs play. We've had a lot of discussions here about this, and the best advice is to keep moving and use your time at the park to enable your dog to get some off-leash exercise. For the umpteenth time, "socialization" for dogs has absolutely nothing at all to do with a dog getting along with other dogs, and dog parks are not necessary for raising a healthy, happy, well-socialized dog who gets along with other dogs. If Seamus likes to play with other dogs, you can get together with friends in one anothers' yards or bring him to a good daycare facility once a week or whatever.
But also, what looks like aggression between dogs to us is not necessarily aggression to them...it's simply the way they play. Even dogs who are best friends, (heck, even dogs who live together in the same house) will indulge in the behavior you're describing. Jack & his best friend across the street end up with both necks sopping wet from mouthing each other there. If Seamus were really distressed and looking to you for help, he would not be going back at the lab, believe me. He would be avoiding him. The lab is being dominant, not aggressive; if he were truly being aggressive, you would know it.
Hope some of this helps.

[L.M.]

Seamus does cry and run away to hide under other people...which is another reason I'd like this behavior to stop because he bothers them as well.
Thanks so much for your reassurance though! We do enjoy the dog park and this park especially has been great, as far as observant owners and everything, but this one dog and his owner, in particular, are the only issue. The dog only seems to go one day a week at a certain time, so we will be avoiding the park that day.

[F, Calla & Luca]

So true. My two play like this often and they both instigate it. At some point, with no warning I can see, it just stops and then they rest.

[F, Calla & Luca]

Yes, Calla, who is bigger, always ends up on her back.

[Kathy Spyker]

My Lilly is very passive too, when I started to take her to the dog park she liked to run with the dogs but she don't like being touched. When a dog would keep bothering her she would come over to me and stay by my side . I could tell she would be stressed so we would leave. When I go if Lilly is not enjoying herself we leave, I don't make her stay. If a certain dog is their she don't like I just take for a walk outside of the off-leash part.

[L.M.]

Thanks so much everyone for the replies! I guess I'm being overprotective, but I feel like he's being bullied...lol. The dog only does this to Seamus in the park and none of the other dogs.

[Leslie, Dexter & Kirby]

Dexter and Kirby are always biting each other ears and necks (they play growl at each other too), but there is never any crying. You mention that Seamus is crying - in my opinion that means he is not happy. I would just try to keep him away from this dog if possible.

Hopefully Seamus will stand up for himself at some point...

[L.M.]

Thanks Leslie! We will definitely be avoiding this dog in the future. The crying and running away from the lab is what bothered me as well. Seamus avoids this dog at all costs and this dog seeks him out...even from across the park!! I also agree with you that Seamus needs to stick up for himself...he has a couple of times with this dog and he does back off, but he needs to do it more often.
If the dog has Seamus pinned on the ground and Seamus looks to me for help what do you think I should do?? This is where I'm not too sure how to respond to my pup.

[BG and Gavin]

Gavin is exactly the same way. Mr. Happy-go-lucky, confident as can be, with no aggression at all. Our last trip to the dog park a corgie type dog pinned him a couple of times and had him by the throat. The owner apologized and left with the dog. I was left feeling soured by the whole experience.

Our trainer hates dog parks. She says a poor experience there can have a negative effect on a dog for life. She says far too many people have out of control dogs that they take there to burn off energy and other dogs become their victims. I'm not in a rush to go back any time soon. I don't think I am an over-protective owner. I think for now I will just let him play with the dogs in the neighbourhood and dogs of friend's.

[F, Calla & Luca]

I feel pretty much the same way.

[Ginny Nightingale]

I am reading this with interest and feeling pretty lucky that the small dog park I go to has great people who really watch over the dogs--who have all been great, by the way--But it also reminded me of something that just happened this weekend and relates to the question of dogs becoming aggressive if exposed to aggressiveness. My relatives visited and brought their Havenese --who is a very small dog! My two doodles were great with her, but she snarled and went after them whenever they were near her food or her owners. She was NOT playing,either--this was serious snarling and biting at them. Of course, my hairy loveable doodles were not the least bit fazed and just went their merry way--no offense taken and no change in their behavior at all. At first, my relative, who knows very little about dog training, was cooing at the dog for "protecting her"--but then realized that this type of aggression should not be encouraged and started to correct her. The dogs just ignored the aggressive behavior and it lessened as the weekend went on.
Just thought that might be helpful!

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

I had the opposite experience. Jack was very accommodating with little dogs when I first got him. He would lie down and let them approach him at their level. Then the rotten little shih tzu around the block snarled very aggressively and snapped at his face twice when he did this, and his reaction the second time was truly frightening. He is now very reactive towards strange dogs of any size, and no longer lies down when he meets even the smallest.