Updated - Need Advice for dealing with Winston's former owners

[Sherri, Sophie, Winston, & Kitty]

Update: heard back from Winston's owners. I think all is good. I paid them the money and they said they are happy they made the right decision for him. They haven't send the form yet but they said they will and I am feeling a whole lot better about it now. Thanks for all the awesome advice!

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Winston's former owners have been asking for updates. I gave a brief one stating that he is doing fine and settling in well, during the first few days. Now they are asking again.

 

There is also a question of ethics. I promised them if they get him heart worm tested before I pick him up that I would pay for the test. I still haven't done that yet. I am having trouble bringing myself to give them money considering how poorly they treated him and how much money I've had to spend on his treatment because of their neglect. I really don't want to send them the money. It's not a lot of money, but it's the principle of the thing that bothers me. This dog that they claimed was in perfect health when he clearly wasn't, who they lauded as having the most calm and laid back personality when really he was lethargic from being so sick, deserved so much better from them and they failed him. He is worth so much more to me than a silly blood test but I just can't bring myself to send them the money-they don't deserve it! On the other hand, I did promise to pay for it and I should keep my word because that would be the right thing to do.

 

As far as updating them on how he's doing. I'm of two minds, I could ignore them completely, give a polite courteous "he's doing well" and leave it at that. Or I can tell tell exactly how things are going and exactly how I feel about them. I don't want to stay in contact with them so I don't want to have to keep giving updates, nor do I want things to get ugly if I send them and ugly email. And then deep down there is a fear that they will want him back. I am starting to get anxious about my decision to adopt a dog without going through a formal rescue program. Should i be worried?

 

What would you do if you were me?

[Camilla and Darwin]

I agree to pay the money, then move on without staying in contact with them.

[Anna and Achilles]

you have gotten very wise advice already, I can't add any more. However I do wish you luck. Please let us know how it goes. I will be thinking of you!

[Amy and Lily]

Sherri something tells me that they are keeping in contact and playing it cool just to keep on good terms until they get the money.  I bet you will not hear from them again after you send the money.  I would put a Doodle kiss on this bet.  Did he bring up the results of the heartworm test in your conversation to throw in a reminder?  Send the money then no more contact.  Winston has a new forever Mommy!!   Hugs and tail wags!

[Becka]

I suspect this as well--they are asking about the dog because they don't want to ask about the money. I also don't think that they will ask for him back, but if they do, you only have to point out all of the health problems he came to you with to shut that down.

[Jane, Rooney & Stuart]

Sherri - trust me - anyone that could treat this poor dog this way they did (excuse my french) doesn't really give a s***.  They will stop asking for updates when you give them what they want - the money.  Send them the money.  They will go away on their own.  As a precaution - keep all of your expense reports and if Winston isn't chipped - they don't have a leg to stand on.

[Sherri, Sophie, Winston, & Kitty]

Jane you're right. He isn't chipped so that might help but I doubt it would matter. Given all the emails back and forth I could use that as proof of transfer of ownership if I had to. I hadn't thought of that yet.

[BG and Gavin]

Great advice already.  I agree you should pay them and give casual updates.  When people mistreat animals (not to excuse it) but they generally have some of their own "stuff" that is getting in the way of providing proper care.  They are perhaps interested in updates so that they can ease their guilt and feel like they gave him up to a good home.  Their own "stuff" will keep them from carrying on asking for update I am sure.  I would casually mention about your concern re:  ongoing medical expenses and needing insurance.  The thought that he would cost them money if he returned should turn them off.  Good luck.

[Sherri, Sophie, Winston, & Kitty]

oh, yess, I have considered that there are some feelings of guilty. I think the wife does. The husband is a bit of a douche, excuse my language, who doesn't seem to be bothered. He's the kind of husband who takes off for the week-end with his buddies while his wife is at home with their 3 week old baby. Who does that??? If i were her I would have dumped him, but anyway...

[Sue, Murphy and Bella ()*o*()]

Absolutely get in writing, whatever would legally give you ownership and if they are worried about you giving him back then they would be just as happy to sign an agreement of ownership over to you. And I would also let them know how much you've spent and been through as well as how much he has been suffering, and possibly they would say to forget about the HW test money. Gee, I might even have to add something about the Vet or Humane Society questioning you about Winstons horrible condition as there are laws to protect dogs from such neglegance.

I do agree with Amy and Lily, that when they get the money they will dissappear.

[Sherri, Sophie, Winston, & Kitty]

thanks Sue.

 

Actually, the vet asked if he was abused because of how nervous and shy he was, on top of his poor condition. It broke my heart to consider that. He had been neglected for sure, but abused? I really hope not. If they were to get testy with me then I could bring that up. I don't want it to come to that though. I hate getting caught up in negativity.

[Sherri, Sophie, Winston, & Kitty]

This is perfect. Actually when i was emailing with Adrianne of DRC about him in the beginning she did give me the DRC form as an example to create my own from. However I was initially hesitant to mention it because I had already made a bunch of demands on them and was afraid they'd change their minds about me. Then the day I picked him up I completely forgot about it and hadn't had the time to create my own form. After that I sort of figured it was too late. But I guess it's never too late, and the insurance excuse is just perfect! I can send that to them in email and ask for them to print it, sign, scan it and send it back right away.

 

I really like the idea of mentioning his health issues and expenses so far to make them afraid I'll bring him back.

 

Ok! I have a plan. I just love DK for always being there for me!! Thank you! I'll provide an update!

[Sherri, Sophie, Winston, & Kitty]

I know what you mean about the word 'property'. I call them his former ownders because that's all they were at best, but I consider myself his new family.