DON'T KILL THE MESSENGER

Hi All,

I have been on this site for a year and a half. I have gotten some great advise and made some nice friends. I have gotten great grooming tips, food advice, lots of laughs and a few tears. However, I have noticed recently when people ask questions, there is a tendency to be a little forceful with answers. A lot of people are asking questions or looking for solutions for real problems....aggressive dogs, food issues, re-homing issues...and instead of lending a sympathetic ear and helpful advice, there seems to be some quick responses with judging comments. Often times I feel sorry for the person asking the question, and some of the answers are mean-spirited. Some are very helpful.

Sometimes people don't see previous posts. When someone re-posts something, or asks a question, again...the poster is not doing it to be a pain...maybe they just didn't see the original post.

I like this site. I like knowing peoples stories, and their pups.

I hope that this post can make people think twice before they post an answer to a post, where the poster is seeking advice. The advice might be something that the poster does not like, but it can be stated in a kinder way.

For example, I am really nervous that people are going to react harshly to this post.

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Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Pam and Ginger Snap on May 3, 2012 at 2:23pm

I agree..I think people know that we are concerned about dogs and think "I'll post here and maybe someone will take my dog" if that is what they are looking for!

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Permalink Reply by Pam and Ginger Snap on May 3, 2012 at 2:18pm

After reading this post, I get the feeling that most people feel the same way. There are a few that might differ, and that is why they make chocolate and vanilla ice cream!

One point I must make sure is understood. I IN NO WAY condone mistreatment of animals in any manner, shape or form. I am not suggesting that we be "kind" to someone who leaves a dog in a car, on a chain or many of the other unthinkable things some people do to their animals. Just that we listen and try and understand where someone is coming from, and help them make the best decision possible for their dog.

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Permalink Reply by Allyson, Peri & Taquito on May 3, 2012 at 2:54pm

I would never think you would condone that Pam! I totally understand where this post was coming from and I think everyone else does too, in their own way. :)

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Permalink Reply by Pam and Ginger Snap on May 3, 2012 at 3:59pm

: )

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Permalink Reply by AndySharon BoomerShaynaMariner on May 3, 2012 at 4:47pm

Pam -

Yes - we all understand where this post is coming from. It has created a "lively" conversation.

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Permalink Reply by Holly (Jax & Bandit) on May 3, 2012 at 2:43pm

Good post Pam! I think we need to try to answer the question that they are asking and not jump all over them for other issues. I think we have many members who are in different stages in their lives. I know that years ago I was totally unprepared for my first dog - a high energy bearded collie- as I had 2 small children. I would have probably asked a lot of the same questions that many new members ask here. I was pulling my hair out and wondering did I need the hassle of this"3rd furry child". I am now on my third and fourth dogs and am much more experienced and see dog issues from a different point of view now. I couldn't imagine even thinking of rehoming my dogs now! My kids are 17, 20 & 21 now and I have lots of time and patience for dogs and all their quirks. I guess my point is that I can see both sides of a lot of the questions that people ask and can understand how they can be in over their heads with small kids and an energetic puppy. I have learned oodles about doodles here and I appreciate all of the information and support.

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Permalink Reply by Ricki and Tara (doodle) on May 3, 2012 at 2:48pm

This reminds me of a friend who, many years ago had 4 small children and her husband surprised her with a puppy! Well, the puppy was like the final straw on the camel's back. After finding yet another spot on her carpet she kind of lost her mind, grabbed a knife and started cutting out the areas of carpet that had spots on them! She could have used DK!