At my wit's end, just want training to work!!

[Jess & Stewart]

I'll be the first to say it. I'm a bad owner and I think Stew's the boss.

He has been horrible this week.

I should title this discussion, STEW WON'T.

-go near his crate,

-come when called,

-handle brush/mat removal; he backs away when I try to brush him and screams if I hit a mat, even if I'm brushing gently and giving praise/treats

-let me leash the Easy Walk without trying to bite it

-follow me into the bedroom at bed time

-get off the couch when asked

-ask (sit/down, trick) to jump onto the couch/bed

-give up anything in his mouth with growling

-eat his stuffed kongs during the day

-stop screaming/barking when I leave for the day

-stop barking anytime he wants my attention

I've tried redirecting the barking and being firm with commands so that he follows them, but he's being totally onery. The past two days he has not eaten any of his breakfast from the Kongs and he'll eat them when my friend comes over at lunch time to play/walk him. He was getting MUCH better with being in the crate. I'd leave for work to no noise at all and come home to some crazy barking but it lasted 2 minutes tops. He's also started not following me to bed, or if he does as soon as I shut my bedroom door he cries and scratches to get out and won't listen to me when I try to redirect. There is also nothing to tether him to at night, I have ikea nightstands that he'd probably knock over and no door handles on my closet/bathroom to hook him to.

I feel like I've just been horrible to him, because I mainly redirect him then given him something to chew in hopes to quiet him. I'm sure he's not getting enough energy but he also seems lazy. He won't chase after anything or really play, he prefers to just hoard the toys and chew on them. I have to run around with the toy at his mouth level and act crazy to get him engaging with me to play. He does great on his walks and stays right by me though. I walk him at least an hour morning and when I get home, then smaller bathroom walks at night also.

I feel AWFUL being frank with a trainer and just saying that I really can't take it, even though I understand it takes time to change behaviors. I just want something to work as a basis that he just snaps right to attention and thinks "WHOA, MOM REALLY WANTS ME TO DO THIS OR STOP THIS". Even if that just happens once, then I KNOW he's listening, getting it.

My family keeps telling me I need to assert myself and have Stew think "man, I made mom really mad and she's letting me know she's the boss. They want me to just whack him once when he gets really nippy, growling, snapping and he'll learn that's not ok. I'm not ok doing that, but also not ok with how things have been going. I've started a new job and barely have time to think, let alone arrange training classes for after work. I can't find any near me on a weekend day.

[Jennifer Tramell]

Physical correction is not always a bad thing.  I'm not saying to "whack" him but a mother dog is very physical about how they correct their puppies.  I am close friends with one of my dogs' breeders and I've watched many interactions between a mama dog and her babies.  They combine physical and sensory correction - there is definitely touch but also sound, and that sound is menacing. 

Many people will agree that a pinch collar is an effective and humane way to train a dog not to pull on a leash.  The pinch is a physical correction.  Many people will shake a can of pennies - this is a sensory correction.  Many people will spray water - to me this is physical and sensory, the water is touch/feel but also startles the other senses. 

It sounds like Stew is really testing you to see if you'll meet his challenge.  I don't think redirecting is working, I think some corrections are needed.  I think you need to find a correction which you are comfortable with and exerts your authority. 

It so easy to avoid conflict until we explode with frustration and your must be very frustrated.  This explosion undermines our confidence in our own abilities to both ourselves and our dogs and it buries us in an avalanche of guilt.  I believe, however, that dogs are very forgiving of our past mistakes and long for a leader.  I suggest that you experiment with different physical/sensory corrections until you find one which you can commit to, then stick with it.  I had a dog who would receive a 1 finger flick as a correction - it didn't take long until I could point that finger and he'd correct himself.  I use the word "QUIT!" in a deep growly voice and it works wonders (of course, I'm standing tall and imitating a grizzly when doing so :-) ).

As always, just my 2 cents.  I encourage you to look for little victories and try not to take the failures personally.  Stay committed and don't give up.   Some dogs are more challenging to train and every human/dog partnership is a unique entity.  I look forward to hearing your success stories in the future!

[Jess & Stewart]

I understand physical correction is probably needed. However, I don't think I can be truly physical and take him off the couch etc because he'll bite. Just now, he was chewing a bone on the floor, jumped on one side of the couch, I said "no off!", he got off with the bone. He did it again, I said "no off" again and he started growling. Said no louder, he sits up, starts growling and baring his teeth. At this point, I got off the couch, walked to my kitchen counter and slammed a water bottle on the table by the couch yelling off. He got off the couch and sat a few feet away. I went to grab his bone and he charged me on the couch, lunging for his bone, trying to bite me. I yelled no, he backed off. I put his bone in his crate, where ideally I'd like him to chew his bones and he went in. Sat down, whimpered, then laid down, not touching the bone. He's quiet in there now, so I'm going to use the opportunity to take a shower :)

[Joani, Skadi & Elli]

Your dog is resource guarding.  He needs to be trained to give his valuables up to someone else...including the one he loves most!  This is not an easy matter to resolve and takes patience and consistent training on the owners part...or someone is going to get bit!  It doesn't matter where you give a dog a prize they do not want to give up...but in the meantime until you train him, the crate would be the safest place.  The first time I gave Skadi a raw chicken wing and then tried to take it away, I got a snarly baring the teeth puppy that bit me!  I was shocked at first, hurt that my darling sweet puppy would do that to me.  Then I educated myself and found out I was the ignorant one and my puppy was just being an "animal".  I did not know dogs needed so much training until I got Skadi...now I worry that there are so many dogs that do not get the proper training and many people end up giving them away.

[Trevor]

I think someone else suggested having a leash attached to him at all times when you are home. Our trainer suggested it, too, because it makes enforcing commands easier.

When he is on the couch, confidently walk up to him and say "off". If he does not move, you can use the leash to get him off (without the risk of being "attacked" if this is your concern). Same with "come". If he ignores you, you can go, grab the leash and enforce. I also think that doing all of this with "natural authority", walking calmly and with your head held high, confident posture, talking in a deep voice etc. is more beneficial than being confrontational (staring the dog down, shouting etc.)

We are also big fans of the Doggy Dan approach to training.

[Jill, Woody & Maxi]

I am sorry that you are still going through this.  Did you ever have a trainer come to the house to work with you?  It seems that many people have had great success with Doggie Dan..it can't hurt to try! 

Our trainer told us once in class---a prospective client asked if he guarantees his work/what his success rate is..his reply, "I can guarantee my work, but I can't guarantee yours"  Basically meaning, you need to implement what you learn 100% of the time, and be consistent..no means no…not maybe…Don't just give up on a command if he doesn't listen the first time, or the tenth time. ..keep at him, calmly, until he gets it..and he will. It just takes time.

Good luck, and please keep us posted.

[Oliver & Elizabeth]

I know how hard it can be to raise a puppy with a demanding full time job. It's stressful coming home and feeling like things are a disaster. I think what kept me sane was before I walked in the door, I would take about 15 minutes to destress and plan my evening. I think if you walk in the door stressed and anxious, Stew can feel the energy and will also become stressed and chaotic. If you walk in the door and immediately exert calm and strong leadership he will know you're the real boss. Of course, he needs training too. I would try to do a class if at all possible, it's good to have a trainer evaluate and optimize your training methods in person.

Stay calm and positive--even when he's being totally obnoxious. When Oliver was naughty I often would just ignore him or leave the room--bad behavior means no mom. Make sure you always have the upper hand (time with mom mean attention, treats, and the most exciting squeaky toy). With diligence, things will get better!

[Jess & Stewart]

Elizabeth- I walk in the door and he screams. Screams, bangs against the crate wanting to get to me. I wait it out as long as I can, but usually end up walking up the crate giving the hand signal for quiet and yelling quiet. If he stops, I count to 30 then praise like crazy and let him out. My life revolves around what I can do to keep him quiet because it's so disruptive.

Today, we woke up, I fed him, took him for a long walk, came back & he laid right down in his spot. He's barely moved since unless he got up to drink water. He didn't engage in play or fetch with me. Did crate training-he walks in after a treat, then without prompting. That lasted about 10 minutes then he laid down again, didn't go in after the treats (turkey pieces). I folded laundry and one of the towels fell on him. I went to grab it & he freaked out. Then I went to grab his leash that was attached to him (it fell with the towel). He snarled, then sat and growled at me. I yelled "hey" in most mean voice, it did nothing. So I walked out of the room. He followed and sat by me. I went to grab his leash and lead him back into the other room, he kept growling, after 3 minutes of a stand off, I gave up. He eventually came and laid by my feet, I grabbed his leash and am holding it now. I should have gotten this on video.

I'm serious when I say he can't be bothered. How can he be so obedient with certain commands (sitting/waiting for food, doors opening etc) but so obstinent with the guarding. Doesn't he inherently view me as boss since I care for him, feed him, walk him etc?

[Oliver & Elizabeth]

I think you might be too sweet and nice to Stew! :) While you might have the resources, Stew seems to have learned that barking and growling gets you to give him what he wants--as you mentioned, your life revolves around keeping him quiet. His life should revolve around you!

You've put so much effort and thought into raising him perfectly--he's very lucky to have you. Speak with a dog trainer, being totally honest, to make sure your effort is well spent. Just because he seems aloof doesn't mean he doesn't like you. Oliver doesn't always like to sit with me and he loves my dad. Everything is going to work out!

[Jennifer Tramell]

I've heard it said that the difference between cats and dogs is that with a dog you pet him, feed him, play with him, care for him and the dog looks at you and thinks "you must be a god".  A cat you'll pet, feed him, play with him, care for him and the cat looks at you and thinks "I must be a god".  I think that Stew is thinking like a cat. 

[Sue, Murphy and Bella ()*o*()]

This makes sense, and it's funny to think he thinks he is a cat! ;)

[Oliver & Elizabeth]

Very funny! I've never heard that, but so true!

[Deborah Brown]

I suggested earlier that you grab him by the scruff of the neck, push him to the floor and give a shake.  One of the reason this works is because you are behind his head and out of bite range.  

It is going to take some work for Stew to learn impulse control.  It sounds like he has a very quick arousal and it shoots to high gear immediately.  When he's like this, its impossible to reason with him.  That is why you see the good dog/bad dog scenarios.