Most aggressive doodle ever with other dogs...we need help

[Kurt]

Lucy turns 2 in October this year.  I've posted before about her behavior with other dogs and unfortunately she is one dominate girl and it has become worse.  I have tried taking her to pet smart only to leave quickly as she wants to let every other dog know she's the dominate girl.  She cannot be trusted with other dogs at all.  I don't want to get rid of her but honestly I'm worried if she gets outside the fence god help the person with another dog. It's bad, really bad and just rips my heart out.  I thought and read prior to getting her that these dogs are the most loving, playful dogs ever and she is.  I didn't read any posts about them being out of control aggressive with other dogs.  I love her tremendously and want to help her but it's gotten to the point that either she's hardwired wrong or I have to put her on Medication or I say this with great sadness...put her down.   What do I do?  It kills me to write this being so honest.  I really love her dearly but am very worried if I don't do something now I will regret it later.  She is the smartest dog I've ever had. She is very loyal to me and our family.  I wouldn't trust adopting her out to someone else. I would feel like I just gave them a problem and being away from us the issues would only get worse.  I would also be tremendously sad knowing she wasn't with us and think about what she was doing or thinking all the time.  I really want to fix this problem. What do I do?  I live in Aurora, IL. and would like to meet with someone that could honestly help me/us.  I've got to help for her/me get this issue turned around.

Advice?... -Kurt

[Marie and Hoka]

Like many others, we had a dog named Torrey- a chinook husky mix- that starting around age 2 due to her reactions to strange dogs we could not take to the dog park or pet store, that I took to the other side of the street on walks, that I warned people walking their dogs to keep away from our fence line.

BUT Torrey was wonderful to us, with the 2 other dogs she lived with (both younger and brought into our family carefully), with our friends lab that dog-sat for us, and was great with all kids.  She lived to almost age 13. You may have to adjust things around Lucy a bit to decrease her anxiety.  I would definitely have a behaviorist see her before giving up.

[Nancy and Georgia Brown]

I know exactly how you feel.

My first dog was super dog aggressive. During times of stress in my life I would always have dreams/nightmares that she got out of the yard and was roaming the streets and would viscously attack some poor innocent dog. She did do serious damage about 5 or 6 times in the 15 years I had her.

I worked with several trainers. We were kicked out of intermediate obedience class when on the first day, the trainer was handling her and she bit into the face of a doberman requiring stitches. (the trainer knew all about her issues)  She was later invited back if I kept her muzzled the whole time. I was basically told I could learn to control her, but I could never take that instinct out of her.

So we worked on it. She wasn't perfect and neither was I. I had a muzzle she would wear when we went out hiking. She was a ball dog so we would go to an empty parking lot at night for her exercise as well as a lot of walks.

Once i got over it and just accepted her as she was things were better. She LOVED people, was super smart, easy to train, and had a ton of personality. I still miss her.

Now my current doodle loves other dogs but doesn't care for strange people. No dog is perfect.

[Leslie, Yogi & Maci Bear]

Such great comments and insights given here. Hopefully it can help put things in perspective for you Kurt.
I hope things do work out for Lucy and your family

[Adina P]

Just to address "these dogs" and what they are like.  These dogs are a mix of two breeds. So there is no 'set' way that they are.  Personality and temperament, etc are going to come from the specific parents that went into the making of each pup.  And there will be variation and flukes.  I don't think that dog-dog aggression is necessarily a reason to consider putting a dog down.  There is always training and management.  And for all you know if she got loose she wouldn't behave exactly the same--some dogs are only aggressive on leash or behind a fence and so you might only see her aggressive side because, obviously, you're not going to take her to petsmart off leash.

Like others have said...find a specialist and/or trainer with experience in this area. 

[Ginny Nightingale]

I agree with all that has been said--for thirty years, I had terriers as pets--many terriers are fighters when it comes to other dogs--and mine were no exception--great with people though. I grew up with my dog fighting all the other dogs when any of them came into my yard--again, great with people! So, when my last terrier died, I thought a doodle would be friendlier--and my first one was--my second one too, although her idea of fun is herding all the other dogs into a corner....her son, Rio, is my third one and when he was at a dog park at the age of three months, he growled at a doberman--we thought "uh-oh"--and sure enough, he does not care for strange dogs--he has dog friends and loves my other two doodles, but he barks at any other dog even if we are on a walk--I do not take him to dog parks, etc and have just accepted that this is the way he is.

I can control it easily when he is on a leash because he and I have been thru a lot of training, but I would never take him to a dog park and release him--ever.

[Stella]

You definitely need to find a good trainer / behaviourist to help you guys, particularly to work out why she is behaving that way. The most important thing that happened to me with my "aggressive" dog was getting the right help and realizing that in his case he was being aggressive because he was so very scared around dogs he didn't know. He would go into freezing, growling, snarling, barking and lunging mode in his efforts to make that other dog go away. If he was off leash he would attack. I also went through thinking he would have to be rehomed to someone with experience with aggressive dogs, or be euthanized. But, I stuck with it and now I am that 'more experienced' home! I went to workshops on Behaviour Adjustment Training, listened to podcasts by Ian Dunbar, read Control Unleased and other books on behaviour and dog body language, and most importantly (by accident) found a trainer who understood my dog and helped me to understand him too. Because his problem was fear, we worked with purely positive reinforcement and have seen huge progress. I can now take him to an agility trial and walk him around without him reacting at all to all those other dogs. He does still have some terratorial issues when being walked along my road, but I just step up someone's driveway to make sure we have lots of space when another dog is passing us. I have learnt to read him, to know when he is getting stressed, and am able to make sure he doesn't feel the need to escalate. Aggressive behaviour becomes a learned pattern, and your job is to teach her a new way of behaving when she sees another dog.

It can be a difficult road, but one that is very rewarding when you see the progress you have made. It isn't always easy, there will be set backs, but once you accept that not every dog wants to best friends with every other dog they meet (and that it is ok that yours is one of those dogs), you can begin to move forward. My Chase now does have a couple of dogs that he is able to play off leash with, and I am ever grateful to my trainer for carefully selecting those dogs, and to their owners for giving him a chance, because for a long time I thought he would never be able to play with another dog again.

[Wendy and Myla]

What a great reply! I love that your are now "the more experienced home" for Chase!  He is a very lucky dog!!!

[Joani, Skadi & Elli]

Having a reactive dog is stressful.  Our last dog did not like little kids...she was not a doodle.  We had to watch her and keep her from kids...especially kids that were at eye level.  This was not fun because I had grandkids. She was a rescue dog so I knew little of her background.  She was okay with me and my mate, she lived for 14 years, and I cannot say when she left this world that I was totally unhappy to see her go.  Enter our doodle today...extremely good with people...loves people....can't get enough of people...alas, she tolerates most dogs, but can be reactive to other dogs.  Being alert to your dogs body language helps...if you are paying attention.  I do not let my dog "greet" other dogs when walking.  I would "never" take her to a dog park.  She goes to doggie day care at least 2-3 times a day and plays with all sorts of dogs sizes and breeds.  Never once have they reported her being aggressive.  But, when she is near me and a dog comes too close...yes, snap, snarl, lung...my sweet sweet baby becomes "an animal"  wanting to protect and guard her own.  Either on leash or off leash...I never know which dog she doesn't want around...only she chooses.  Not every dog, not every time.  I have taken her to trainers to work with us and will continue to train and work and be vigilante.  I feel your pain and concern.  Hope you can afford the time and money to get help for your dog.  The more I know about dogs and their behaviors, the more I worry.

[Deborah Brown]

Kurt, you have to get Lucy professional help.  A vet behaviorist can do wonders for you.  And medication is not a bad thing.  It has helped plenty of dogs.

Deb

[Stella]

Kurt, how are things going? You have had some great advice here, and I am hoping that you have been able to find a trainer or behaviourist to help you. Please let us know how you and Lucy are getting on.