My Shy Doodle

[Susan, Coby & Chloe]

Coby is going to be a year old on Thanksgiving….a bittersweet day as that is also the day we lost our loving and most precious chocolate ALD Bosco….but she's still not outgrown her shyness. We've been socializing her as much as we can and yet it still takes her quite some time to warm up to people. Dogs, she has no issues with - they're ALL her friends!  But when meeting new people, she generally cowers a bit, backs away, then approaches them on her own terms for a quick sniff.  We had a dog sitter here last weekend who almost got a complex b/c she thought the dog didn't like her; it wasn't until the third day  - and after the sitter went next door to bring over my neighbor's dog for awhile - before Coby finally warmed up to her. I know this is very unusual for labradoodles, and it's partially my fault in selecting her. I saw the first time she came out of the pen she tended to go off on her own, unlike her sister (I wanted a female this time) who charged ahead and was very nippy - I thought a more laid back puppy would be the way to go and less inclined to venture out the way Bosco had (he had been treating for lymphoma at not quite age 3 but managed to bolt from our hotel room on Thanksgiving, the same night, and in the same town where Coby was born).  She is great with us and seems to feel very protective of our 3 y/o grandson -- she cried on and off for nearly an hour the other night when I wouldn't allow her to sleep with him - so she's a "sensitive' girl who has been through training with the best twice.  Don't know what more I can do to help her get past this.

Has anyone else experienced anything similar? It's been suggested another dog could help and we may consider that down the road as we'd planned but for now, not sure what do do to help her move beyond this somewhat social anxiety.

[Gayle & Hunter]

Hunter my 7 month old ALD he always did the submissive peeing when he would meet new people especially men. He seemed to be great with other dogs. What I did was started taking him to doggy daycare where lots of people along with dogs play and have lots of interfacing with him. He has only been going a week and I have seen a major change to the good. He doesn't seem to do the peeing any longer and is really having a great time playing and just getting to know lots of people, this is what helped us. Good luck it will workout just fine.

[Barb @ Gemstone Labradoodles]

This may not be relevant in your case, but a few members here have said that a haircut to make sure your doodle can see well made a huge difference in demeanor.

I had a terribly shy Shepherd once and I taught him the 'visit' command. I found he was much better when he thought I trusted the people enough for him to be touched. I instructed the people how to touch him too. The thing is, people don't touch big male shepherds as quickly as they do sweet fluffy looking doodles, so this was easier to manage.

Around a year is another fear period so a slow approach is appropriate.  Bach Flower remedies can be useful when doing desensitization training.

I hope you find the right answer for your situation. 

[Susan, Coby & Chloe]

Interesting to hear that a year is another fear marker period. I can definitely look into Back Flower, thanks!

[Carolyn Shusterman]

Susan, keep taking Coby to places that allow dogs.  Home Depot and such places is fun (and you get to shop).  Take treats with you and ask the strangers (who Coby seems to be interested in) to give her a treat.  Don't treat Coby like a shy dog, just ignore her and you be friendly.  Our Sydney is what I call 'cautious' around large men.  I take every opportunity I can to casually talk to men and when I see Sydney relaxed I ask the man if he would help sociliaze my dog by letting him sniff his hand.  It takes 'baby steps' and Sydney is getting more confident.  Good luck.  You can also look at it another way....Coby isn't running up to people and jumping on them, which is appreciated by all strangers.   

[Susan, Coby & Chloe]

That is SO true and I tell myself - and others - that all the time! I actually had a similar interaction with Coby and a man who came over to talk to us yesterday; he knew enough to approach her with the back of his hand down but when I explained about her shyness he diverted his attention from her to me to talk for a bit while she had the opportunity to "sniff him out" on her own terms then allowed a little petting.  She was definitely willing to be approached more by women in the crowd. I find that if I'm in the house when people come in that she doesn't know, she's better in adapting to them faster - if I'm out of the picture is when it takes her longer.  Come to think of it, I had a child like that who outgrew it so I can see how there may be room for growth for our dog as well...

[Cindy and Olive (Ollie)]

Our dear friends have an ALD who has, as they describe it, an "old soul." It is just her personality to be a bit reserved. When we visit, we know it may take a while to pet her and that she won't be lovey dovey with us. Some read it as cool - the ones who expect a lot of love from a dog right away - but she is perfectly lovely dog, just needs time to herself. There are no anxiety issues for her, it is just a personality thing. And her family accepts and loves her!
I'm not sure about the cowering thing. The gentle exposure/positive reinforcement suggestions you have here might be right on. But, I wanted to share my friend's story too :)
All the best!

[Susan, Coby & Chloe]

Absolutely, definitely helps to hear!

[Maryann,Roo and Tigger]

My Tigger is friendly to dogs but also slow to make people friends.  He is six years old and it hasn't changed much.  I don't think he is so much shy as that he is just very interested in his environment and other animals, whereas Roo, who is Tigger's full brpther, is all about people.   Roo could care less about anything except making friends with every person in sight and retrieving a moving object, be it ball or bone or stick, a person throws it, he will bring it back to that person.  I think it is just who they are, like people.

I

[Wendy Bell]

Our 4 year old ALD is still quite timid around strangers. He wants to meet them, but is often labeled aggressive or mean because he'll bark or run away from people who want to meet him. He does the best when we tell others to let him come to them. Still, he would just rather do this on his own terms...small children he is great with, as they show no hesitation and will walk up to our dog without much thought (we monitor this closely as well- he hasn't shown signs of being aggressive around small children). He goes to daycare twice a week and loves everyone there (people and dogs). We have worked to exhaustion with this situation and have come to terms with it. His personality is what it is, and we will continue to work with this. His separation anxiety is also something we will continue to work on as it becomes quite intense, especially if we are traveling in the car and he wants to sit with us in the front (he will cry and yelp until we continue to ignore him through this). We have called behaviorists, gone to classes and spoken with experts. He is a great pet, who loves being with us, playing and sleeping! Coby, I'm sure is a wonderful dog, with many Doodle antics that make you laugh every day!