Coping with death and how to help the other dog...

[Tante & Jordan & now Annie!]

We recently (yesterday) had to let our dog Payton go.He was 11 1/2yo.It was very hard,and still very hard for me to think/talk about.
My question to the group is what do I look for in Jordan for signs of depression? How do I help her to recover? She does look for him,I have also noticed she is following me around the house.(I've taken PTO days from work)
When we were out side she would not come when I called her (she has great recall) she was smelling Payton favorite pee bush.
I am trying to keep her and myself busy,I am cleaning the house, I mean deep cleaning. We are going for walks and I am taking her tomorrow to my sisters to play with her doggy cousins.
Any suggestions would be helpful.
Tante

[Nancy, Ned, Clancy, and Charlie]

I am so sorry for you. It brings out the sad memories of putting down our beloved Springer (and that was 8 years ago). Our family and out lab mix who is now almost 11 missed her terribly. It seemed that only time helped us, but hopefully someone has a more proactive suggestion. Again I am so sorry.

[Lynne Fowler-Oodles of Doodles]

I am sorry for your loss, it is a very hard thing to lose a beloved dog.

When Magic died from the 2007 Dogfood Fiasco, Cody (my 8 yr old Bijon) was lost. He moped around, laid in Magic's bed and carried her toys around. I think it was especially hard on him because he had been my parent's dog and had lost both of them the year before. My whole family experienced some depression over all of it. I started to think that he really needed another doggie to get him (and us) happy again. I had been reading about Labradoodles and I thought I just couln't get another Black Std Poodle, so I put out the word I wanted a LD from rescues and shelters. I started calling around to friends, thinking it would take some time to get one but I got a call from a friend of a friend within 2-3 days of starting my search and went to get Ginger 2 weeks after Magic died.

Some people advocate waiting after a dog dies, but I felt that I couldn't wait. It was too hard not to have Cody have someone to "hang" with. From the minute Ginger came in the house, Cody was her guardian and pal. They bonded right away and Cody was fine. The two weeks he was alone, he seemed to age and did seem very depressed. Once she came he was himself again. AND...it helped me and my boys also have a puppy to worry about instead of our grief. If you know you will eventually get another dog, I recommend not to wait. Start your search now. You never know how long it will take and it gives you something to do to take your mind off it. The 4 days I had to wait before going to get Ginger, I took Cody to Petco and we picked out new toys and a new bed for the new puppy and he loved walking around the store with the other dogs and feeling special.

Ginger was a puppy mill rescue so needed a lot of our and Cody's special attention when she first arrived. Cody taught her what grass was and where to do her business, how to sit nice for treats and where to sleep. It really was a good thing to get him a "buddy" right away. For him and us.

[Marcia Paulaski]

I am so very sorry for your loss.

[Tante & Jordan & now Annie!]

Thank you all for your suggestions/condolences,I took Jordan out and about with me today, we went for a daily walk,played ball in the yard. Jordan is one of those dogs who does not play tuggie with us.She will only play with other dogs. I took the skins squirrel and I let it hang down I would tease her get her to grab it. I would let go right away.Then she would turn her head to keep me away from it.It was a good play session.I plan on working with her to play tuggie,she seemed to enjoy it. I got her to eat by adding feta cheese to her food. It was the only thing I had handy.
I told DH about the suggestion to get another dog,I was shocked her said I could see how that help. I would like another dog but after we move. We are planing on moving in the next year.
I am going back to work tomorrow, I hope DH keeps her entertained. I am worried he will just let her lay around. I plan on making a Kong for her.
Why does it have to be so hard to lose someone you love....it just sucks.

[PB]

It is very hard when you lose a loved one. I always thought it a crime that our beloved pets have such a short life expectancy; 10 or 11 or even 14 yrs. is not nearly enough. When our Fiona was diagnosed with cancer at age 10, I did everything I could to try to "cure" her, or at least keep her around with the quality of life she was use to. I had gotten a 6 mo. old labradoodle just 2 mos. prior to finding out about Fiona's illness. After an adjustment period, they became great friends. Now I worry about Sydney, now 17 mos. old, will fare when Fiona dies. So far she seems to be doing well, but I know that we are on borrowed time. I agree that having another dog may help all of you, although nothing can take away your sadness and grief. Time will help. Talking about your lost friend and remembering the fun you had together will help. But you are right; losing a loved one sucks!

Pauline (and Fiona and Sydney)

[Maryann,Roo and Tigger]

I am sooo sad for you. Payton just looks like he would be a hard dog to let go across the rainbow bridge. It is a such a sad time for your family. You are right - it absolutely sucks. You are doing just the right thing in keeping Jordan busy. Signs of depression are refusal to eat as normal. Sleeping or laying down all day. Let Jordan mope a bit, and you too, before you get another puppy. It is different for everyone. We usually waited 6-8 weeks. But, you will know when it is okay to let another puppylove into your life.

[Tante & Jordan & now Annie!]

Thank you Maryann, Dh and I have talked and we are not going to get another dog,until we move.We are planing on moving sometime in the next year. We both agree that we will rescue,ethier a Doodle or a Stand. Poodle. Which ever comes our way when we are ready. Jordan is doing better,she was a bit over weight because she would eat Payton's food. She is looking good! I know she misses playing with another dog.Jordan will not play with us.She never has.It is funny because I have been trying to get her to play tuggie and she will a little, but not like she would with Payton.
I keeping telling Dh that he needs to video me trying to get to play,when we do I will post it.It is very funny.
Tante

[Marianne *OZZY & ZOEY]

I am so sorry for your loss. It will be 1 year ago this week end that I lost my dog...and the pain is still so deep. I was very depressed and could not function too well. My father in law knew I needed another dog and that is how we got OZZY, my Golden was also feeling the loss, and my emotions were not helping him either. Once Ozzy arrived the Golden was much better, 6 monts later we added Zoey. Only time helps you cope, when people told me that a year ago, I just thought that they never really loved their dogs,,how could it help? It just gets easier.....Again I am so sorry for what you are feeling right now.

[Lynda Kamrath]

It sounds like you are really on top of the situation just to be aware to look for signs of depression. I think it really matters what your dog is used to. If they have always had canine companionship, then it will be harder on them. We learned that many years ago when we had a standard poodle who had been raised by a shephard. He had never spent a day alone in his life. When she died, he was beside himself with grief. He cried until he lost his voice and was obviously depressed. Everyone was in school or working and he was alone each day for at least six hours. I decided to get him a puppy and that is how we got started with doodles. I am a teacher so I ordered a puppy on line who was chosen from among three breeders that had litters ready to go and the puppy arrived when I was out of school for the summer. Bruno perked up immediately and took over all the care and training for the puppy (Hondo). And he did a beautiful job. A few years later when Bruno was failing quickly, I got a puppy for Hondo and he was so involved with the puppy that he did not seem to even notice that Bruno was gone. Now my husband and I are both retired and home with the dogs, but we think we will always have two dogs so they have their companion also.
Visiting with other dogs and getting away from the house will help, but Jordan also has to deal with her loss. Our thoughts are with both of you.

[Jax's mom]

We to are just dealing with this. Our yorkie, Lacey, who was 13 1/2 died on Thursday and we have 2 other dogs, Jax our goldendoodle puppy and Toodles our other yorkie. Our Goldendoodle seems to be fine but our other yorkie is grieving right along with us. Losing a pet is tough indeed. Kathy

[Tante & Jordan & now Annie!]

Jax's Mom, I am so sorry for your loss.My heart goes out to you and your family.

Even now I tear up going to this post and it has been 9m. since Payton's passing. I still cant look at a picture of him, or talk in detail about him.
Jordan is much better.I think she wants another dog in the house. DH thinks she loves being an only.We are at a standstill over that issue.

[F, Calla & Luca]

I too am sorry for your loss.