Visiting My Parents, They Don't Like Dogs...

[Camilla and Darwin]

I have a problem. My parents have never been big animal fans, but inside dogs are a BIG no no at there house. We live fairly close (about an hour away) and sometimes when we go, they want us to stay for a long time, even overnight.

Darwin is an indoor dog, and they know that. They always make suggestions like "Why don't you tie him up in the backyard (because it's not fenced in) or "Can't you just put him in the garage?" (It's basically a chemical and tool death-trap for dogs) I always make sure he is clean, and he has great house manners but I don't want to push them. Recently, I asked them if he could come be in the house, but only in the kitchen area, on a leash tied to the doorknob. They allowed it, but were hesitant and my dad made comments about building a heated doghouse outside.

I would love it if they would accept letting him be in the house, of course near me so I can watch him. I don't want to cause problems... but it is a really big hassle to have to put him in doggy daycare or board him every time we stay for longer than six hours. I don't want to just tie him up in the backyard, especially when it is muddy and snowy outside. Also, my parents live in a rural neighborhood where there are a TON of unleashed, wandering dogs which may or may not be vaccinated and friendly. I don't feel it's safe for him to be back there for long periods of time, without the yard being fenced in.

Any advice? Should I just keep boarding him, or should I try and get them to accept him being in the house? How should I approach this?

[Adina P]

I agree. NOW.

But I guess dogs would be considered dirty because they lick themselves, they poop and don't wipe their butts, they don't bathe with soap and water, they have dirty paws, their hair gets on things (food, clothes, furniture), they eat nasty things, they might lie in a puddle or mud....etc.

So if you play with your dog outside, it is contained out THERE where dirt lives anyway. Then you just go inside, wash your hands and you're done with the 'dirty' dog who doesn't have to bring all its dirt and germs indoors. It's not like we thought we were playing with nuclear waste...we just didn't think it was appropriate for inside a human, 'clean' house -- LOL.

I can't explain more than that...it's foreign now.

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

Regarding germs, you do know that research now shows beyond a doubt that kids who grow up in less than antiseptic conditions, i.e. around dirt, germs, and animals, have a much lower incidence of allergies or asthma, and a much higher resistance to disease, right? In short, being exposed to dirt makes you healthier.

[Adina P]

yes...yes....yes. we weren't stopped from playing in dirt...but yeah...somehow animals were grosser ;-) LOL

[Steve Drury]

It's not whether or not the dogs are housebroken......even when they are clean, most shed, bring dirt and bits of grass and leaves in when they come and go. We always had dogs living in the house with us but I had rules about no dogs on any furniture---ever; when we had a two-story home the dogs were not allowed on the second floor. But one of my sons kept coming home with rescues. And when the head count got to four I put my foot down and evicted them all. I couldn't handle four kids, four dogs, enough shed fur to knit a puppy every day and all the stuff that would be carried in on 16 paws.
Sometimes there are just practical reasons they need to be outdoors.
Once those four moved on, I had become so used to a clean house we didn't have any dogs for 5 years------until I discovered doodles. Our girls promised not to shed---which is a promise they've kept-- and I compromised on pretty much everything else.

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

I lived with poodles for almost 50 years. They don't shed, ever. We always had smaller dogs, who brought very little grass, dirt, etc., into the house. Small dogs can get lots of exercise indoors, and really only need to go outdoors to relieve themselves. The houses were immaculate...both the one I grew up in and my own. I never knew how filthy a dog could make a house until I got my 80 lb. labradoodle, who definitely sheds...a lot.
The point is, if someone really wants a dog, there are hundreds of breeds to choose from, dozens of which don't shed, don't tear up the lawn, and don't bring in dirt. No dog "needs" to be outdoors.
People need to find one they can live with, as you did, or don't get one at all.
There is not one conscientious breeder, competent shelter, or rescue group in this country who would condone anyone keeping a dog outdoors, for many very good reasons.

[Adina P]

We didn't know much about breeds. My dad was the one who wanted dogs and he thought GSD's were the only kind worth having (not that we KNEW of 100's of breeds or anything).

[Leslie, Dexter & Kirby]

Could you bring a crate to your parents house and keep Darwin in it (maybe in a room out of the way). Then you could take him out (on a leash) every few hours. Another option is asking if you could dog proof an out of the way room (maybe section off a part of the basement).

My parents like/tolerate our dogs, but really don't want them in their house. If the weather is nice and we can all be outside we will sometimes bring them, but otherwise they stay home. My parents won't refuse if we asked, but I don't want to push D&K on them so we typically just don't stay too long when we visit.

[Adina P]

We've had to travel with our dogs and stay with people we love who don't believe in indoor dogs and/or can NOT have dogs inside. We've always had our dogs sleep in the back of our station wagon and given them frequent outside breaks, walks in those instances. We were never there for days on end, though, so it gets harder if you stay more than a night or two. But all our three did fine. In fact probably BETTER because they were so used to being in the back of our station wagon. I've also done supervised tie outs. You might even try a travel crate or bring an expen to contain Darwin in a non-carpeted area of the house. You are NOT going to convince your parents that dogs should live inside (it was something I didn't believe in for years as growing up all our dogs were neglected outside dogs for the most part). And those who grew up that way and haven't experienced anything different don't 'get it' -- I didn't for a long time until I started baby sitting Clark's Cass (while we dated). Boarding is not a bad option, but if you can get agreement for indoor crating or indoor expen use in a 'safe' area of the house...or if you feel comfortable with him in your car overnight (provided it's not below freezing) and you think your car is in a safe place...that might be fine too.

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

I truly believe that a solitary puppy who has slept indoors with littermates or human family since he was born would be tremendously distressed and miserable if he was left alone in a yard or in a car overnight, no matter where it's parked. Your three at least had each other.

[F, Calla & Luca]

I think this would most often be the case. There was a time with our standard poodle, who was a wonderful, well behaved dog, when he had to sleep in the car over night. My son had been taken to the ER and I had to rush there. I had no one to care for Rex and I didn't know when I'd get home. He was used to sleeping in the bedroom. That night he curled up in the backseat and he was fine all night. I went out to check on him periodically and always found him sleeping contentedly. But I wouldn't do this except for an emergency. I can imagine Luca peering out the car window all night to see when I would return.

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

I can imagine some dogs destroying the upholstery. My poodle would have...she chewed right through a seat belt once on a long car ride, and I was right there with her!
Jack would curl up and behave, but I think he would be very hesitant about getting into the car next time around.
I agree, in an emergency, you do what you have to do. But not if there's an alternative, or to save money. Let the relatives who want to see you so badly but not enough to accept your four-legged family members pay for a boarding kennel.

[Adina P]

Depends on the dog. I've left Rosco in the car overnight when staying with inlaws before (Once when I visited Clark after he had surgery in an out of town hospital) and I've left Cass in the car overnight too when it was just me and her or Clark and I and Cass. They both were fine. Rosco settles very well in familiar spots and I took him out first thing in the morning and several times during the day. It's not the ideal, but it can work. They were almost always half asleep or lying down relaxing when I'd go get them (either alone or together).
I think Thule would have a tougher time alone and she's never had to be alone in a car overnight.