I got dog-shamed

[Sara]

First, I'm new, so forgive me if this has been discussed previously.

Second, I got dog-shamed today....and I don't even have my puppy yet! :(

Scenario: I was at a holiday party with, well, let's call them "snooty intellectuals". Lol.
I was asked about our puppy. I said we were getting a goldendoodle. Cue the eye rolls. I asked why I was getting eye rolls. I shouldn't have asked. It began a long diatribe of "people like you who pay WAY too much money for 'designer dogs' and how I am contributing to the over-population of mutts---because that's all I'm REALLY buying is a MUTT!" Oh, and that I would do the world a favor by rescuing a shelter mutt instead, blah, blah, blah.

Wow. Ok.

I gave my reasons for adopting a goldendoodle: less shedding, smart, kid-friendly, cute ( I admitted I was a vain consumer on that one, lol), basically that the goldendoodle "fit" all my family's wants/needs in a dog.

Then one man in particular told me--smirkingly-- that all of my criteria for a dog fit a POODLE and that it would have been a more responsible choice to make.

Sigh. I gave up the fight at that point and just said that none of them could ever pet my dog, EVER! and I stomped my foot and flipped my hair! Ok, not really, but I did say that I chose what I think is best for my family and that I hope we could just all be respectful of each other's choices.

Ugh!!!!

It hasn't changed my mind--at all-- about adopting our Doodle. But it did make me feel, well, bad!? One stupid party and I'm questioning my ethics about dogs?!?! I think I'm avoiding work parties for awhile....

My question: has this ever happened to you with regards to your Doodle, and, if so, what did you say?!?!

[Debb, Lucy & Oscar]

In the 5+ years of having doodles, I've only ever encountered very positive remarks, but I know there have been others here who have had great remarks to negative comments. Hopefully, they'll chime in. I have had people call my dogs, 'mutts', but I just laugh and say, 'Yes, they are mutts!' Sorry you had a bad experience.

[Joanne ~ Spud*]

From now on, just say you are getting a mixed-breed dog. It works.  Nuff said  :)

Best Wishes and Congratulations on your new puppy

[Camilla and Darwin]

Yep!

[Kaitee and Orwell]

There are many dogs that are "designer" dogs, but don't get enough notice. The only ones who get noticed seem to be the poodle mixes. It must be said that all recognized dog breeds have been designer dogs. Another dog that I was seriously considering was a Shiloh Shepherd. Like the labradoodle and goldendoodle, it is a mix with German shepherd and other mountain dog type breeds. I feel that the names labradoodle and goldendoodle should be replaced with a more special name because like the Shiloh Shepherd, they are moving to become their own breed. I know labradoodles are moving to become the "Australian Cobberdog," and I think this would be very beneficial.

By the way, Shiloh Shepherds are just as much as a labradoodle or a goldendoodle from a breeder. I must admit that I got the "friends discount" for my Orwell and basically stole him, but I would have happily paid more for him.

This being said, I've never had a bad experience with someone inquiring about Orwell. A lot of people ask what he is and I happily tell them what he is. They treat him with as much respect as his purebred counterparts.  

[Kalee Thompson]

What about adopting a doodle from a rescue? I can see both your point and the other people's point as well. People will breed dogs to sell as long as other people buy them. Adopting a specific breed from a rescue is kind of a happy medium. You get the breed or dog or mutt you want while adopting a dog/puppy from a rescue. It would be like a double win. It's just an idea....

[Susan & Randy's Kate]

We have rescued, bought purebreds, bought our hybrid and had dogs find us.  It is about the dog.  I have to say that our Kate is one of my favorite as far as love, playfulness, temperament and laid back personality.  She often wakes during the night but she gets a bone or toy and quietly chews on it for about an hour and then goes back to sleep.

I have a friend that breeds Cavalier King Chrarles Spaniels and I think purebred breeders feel threatened by hybrids.  Some purebred breeders equate hybrids with back yard breeders.  Truth be told there are good and bad breeders. 

I have also seen the vehemence of some people on the internet about hybrids.  I so enjoy having a hybrid (I always say the difference in a hybrid and a mutt is you know who the daddy is).  Knowing the labrador mom and the standard poodle dad gives you a guideline to what they will look like.  It is fun to see how the hair turns out.  Instead of pretty much knowing there is the element of will it look like Uncle Bob or Aunt Edith.  

As far as rescue we have done that too.  We paid $500 for a rescue puggle.  The lady was later shut down as a rescue organization.  I knew something was wrong when she didn't send me the microchip or respond to my requests.  

Okay, so you get it from both sides, the purebred and the rescue.  This is a soft place to land where people love and enjoy their doodles and all the diversity that entails.  There are small curly haired, medium wavy, large fleece, black, brown, golden, party and every combination.  I love them all.  They are sweet, loving, intelligent, goofy, playful beautiful dogs.  

Good luck on your quest in finding the perfect family for your family.  I vote doodle!

[Nicky, Riley & Boris]

I get asked several times when we are out and about 'what breed my dogs are?' I always answer a 'planned mutt' and that both have Poodle in common. I have one LD and one GD so that covers it. I find it works a treat. 

[Nancy and Georgia Brown]

If you wanted to be snarky, ask them if they adopted their kids or had their own, and why. Seriously, if they are asking politely I think your response is fine. If they are rude about it they don't deserve an answer.

You might say to the rescue dogs people that you are paying because you want to know that your dog came from a good background for health and temperament, and you want to know what you are getting.

To the poodle owners, tell them you like the look and personality of the doodle better, after all it's a personal preference, and as long as the dog is from a responsible breeder it is not irresponsible.

I was very worried about these types of comments before I got my dog. I had a lot of guilt about not getting a rescue. And my sister's coworker had a fit because she raises show poodles.

Most of the guilt subsided after I got my dog. Now if I sense any of those feelings from others I just say "She's a great dog and I"m happy with my choice."

[Lori, Daphne, Lucy & Pippa]

Nancy, I love that logic about the adopted kids! Great answer!

[Marie and Hoka]

I actually usually respond "he is mostly poodle with some golden" if/when people ask, -he is an F1B (75% poodle, 25% golden).  I find it simpler to avoid using the doodle word unless someone asks and/or knows what he is.  

I do also have my little (adorable) rescue mix, Moxie, so I probably get less comments about adopting. 

(So I think you should get your puppy a little rescue friend- problem solved!  LOL)

[Sara]

Marie--
Our other dog IS a rescue dog! Lol. I'm going to really stress that point if this ever happens to me again! Thanks for the suggestion of mentioning my sweet rescue dog when I'm approached by the "judgy" people!

[Cindy and Olive (Ollie)]

I'm petting Rippley right now and he is the most heavenly soft, sweet boy. Take a page from Taylor Swift, the haters gonna hate, hate, hate - (cannot believe I'm quoting her, but it's a good message in modern format) so let them. Keep focused on what will be your wonderful, life changing joy of welcoming a doodle into your life! P.S. My hub teased me back when I told friends we were "adopting" a doodle - he said, "We are not adopting! We are buying!" Own it, and enjoy it. We have no sneezing, no shedding, and a healthy! happy mutt! No judgement. All the best,