Bloom Where Your Planted

[Jennifer and Jack]

Yes that is Jack in a pot, trying to "bloom where he is planted" Actually he was soaking up some sun. That is my theme lately... I am trying to go with the flow, bloom where I am planted even if I hate and despise the situations I am in. I choose to try to find the good, the flowers through the weeds.. and I guess Jack does too

I feel like I wanted to write on here to share.. because the more prayers, healing thoughts and things of that nature the better.

I know I have been posting a lot of silly things on here, truth be told, the harder things are for me, the more I love to laugh. I have had really rough couple of weeks....I was finally starting to respond to the seven antibiotics I am infusing daily. One of them called Amikacian has some side effects that can be pretty detrimental. It can cause ototoxcity. Which basically means that it can damage certain parts of the ears.

I knew that this was a possibility when I started the drug... most people only stay on it for two weeks, I have been on it for six months.. I need to be on it for at least another six months, they were hoping for longer....like another year.

This past week I experienced one of those effects. I got a ton of pressure in my ears, dizzy and hear a loud and I mean loud ringing in my ear.  I called the doctor and I was instructed to stop it until Monday and then we would go from there. They were hoping that it would improve.. In the past few days it has gotten worse..

If I turn my head I get extremely dizzy, I constantly feel like I am hearing the phone ring and it feels like I have water in both of my ears.. Sometimes it is reversible but almost always it is not. My friends that have traveled this path either got Cochlear implants, hearing aids or say "what" all the time.  Some have stopped treatment and some went through with treatment and now are profoundly deaf.. I don't think I could knowingly do that to myself.

We need wisdom to know where to go from here... I sure as heck don't want to go deaf.. and I won't and I sure as heck don't want this bacteria to take over my lungs... So in a pickle for sure.

A scary one to be honest...between Jack and mine ears the two of us are walking around shaking our heads and rubbing our ears.

On a good note, I was going to be going to National Jewish myself because the cost of going was way more then we expected. My loving Paw Pad group ( which is the breeder group that I am a moderator of did a fund raiser last year to help pay for me to go) and that was a huge blessing.. However, having to be there as long as I do it is way more then we thought.

I would not let my mom go with me.. I could never be okay with leaving jack for two plus weeks unless I knew my mom had him..I know you might think that is silly because I could board him with Molly, but if you have ever seen my insane posts you know I would not be able to sleep, thinking Jack is itching somewhere and no one knows.. I can't help it I love him so much

Today, I found out one of my good friends will be coming with me for the first eight days. I had intended for her to go until I started realizing how much it was going to cost.. plus I am allergic to the carpet in my house and need wood floors or fake wood floors and I could not justify asking my parents to pay for my friend to go because I am so dang expensive...way more then they could have imagined when they decided to have one last child

My parents though divorced and never agree on anything ever, no matter what, both insisted that Kara can go, well one insisted and well the other didn't disagree so that is a miracle in and of itself.

I know it is a stretch for them to pay for it but they said they would not be able to rest with me flying alone.

So Yay.. I have my friend for the first week and then a dear dear friend fellow Paw Pad doodle owner who has been an angel in my life will be flying in the second week for a few days....plus a few people have thought about seeing me while I was out there.. Hope I am up for it

Two weeks after I get back from Colorado I will be having major abdominal surgery to remove scar tissue and a complete hysterectomy for reasons I will spare you.  So I have a lot going on,

Right now the scariest for me is my ears, my hearing, my balance and knowing what to do about staying on this antibiotic that I need so the bacteria doesn't completely take over my lungs. I am on six other ones but this specific class of drugs is key to keeping this bacteria in check.

I am only sharing on here because so many of you have extended so much love and kindness to me... and I so appreciate it...

I am so incredibly grateful that in spite of tough times, I am so blessed with amazing people and an awesome dog who is going to turn 3 on Tuesday....

I am making him  home made duck.... (that is all he can have because he is on a LID diet so instead of a birthday cake he will get a birthday duck!!!

I love my boy and together Jack and I will Bloom Where We Are Planted, and right now we are grateful we are planted among amazing loving people.

Thank you for your good thoughts and prayers for healing for my ears and wisdom for my doctors...oh heck if you are praying how about a total body overhaul.. I was just reading in the Science group about the Heart Pump.. Wonder if I can get a whole new body to go please????

For now we bloom or we try to anyway

[Maryann,Roo and Tigger]

Jennifer you are in my prayers and even better, I will ask my mother-in -law to add them to hers.  I am convinced she has a straight line to God.

Keep a smile in your heart even when you cannot possibly keep one on your face.  Suck up and hold on to every good minute.  Believe in miracles.  Know that you are touching lives and hearts where ever you go, which is better than paying your bills, breathing easily, or being able to leap tall buildings in a single bound,although I am certain that it does not feel better to you.  You are already blooming where you were planted, but like all beautiful flowers, there are times when rest is needed to bloom again.

[Janie, Jackson and Jilly]

What a sweet picture! Wishing you and Jack all the best!

[Jennifer,Chloe & Myla]

Cutest picture ever! Happy Birthday Jack!

So happy to hear that you are not going alone. Jack will do well

with your mom!

[Jennifer and Jack]

Thanks I just had a moment of clarity and asked for so e antivert.....here's to hoping it helps....I feel like I am already on the Doodle cruise and we hit high seas!!!!! My mom is deaf I. Her left ear to, no one knows why so,her diagnosis was "sudden loss of hearing syndrome " which makes me laugh at the stupidity of that name being a diagnoses.

We all have our crosses to bare so to speak.....and though I would swap bodies in a second , even with a 100 year old, I wouldn't trade me...because of the amount of love and support I have in my life, and the very amazing feeli g of gratitude for simple things that had I never been sick I would have taken for granted.

Some times I see people who are wealthy, pretty by the world standards, have good marriages ..kids etc and they walk around like they have been drinking pickle juice ..though we don't know what is going on inside...those are the people I feel sorry for....life is so precious....

[Traci -Bexter & Maggie]

Jennifer, You have not only bloomed, but you have planted seeds for the rest of us to think about.  Most of us have so much less to complain about than you!  We all need reminders to appreciate health & life.  I am so sorry to hear all you have been going through with your health.  I will be praying for you.  I am deaf in my right ear, and I know what a pain it is...But still, I have my "good" ear.  You are such a strong and big-hearted person.  We will all be praying for you!

[Doris, Knox & Flash]

I will continue to lift you up in prayer, Jennifer!

[Jennifer and Jack]

Thanks, no Bonnie it is not Menere's disease....one of the antibiotics I am on is known to be toxic to the kidneys and ears. Usually they only keep people on it a few weeks but because of the severity of my situation they decided the risk was worth the benefit.....and I agreed until ingot these side effects....I feel sea sick, dizzy and even being on the computer makes me queezy though I am still on it. I also have a loud ringing in my ear....we are waiting to hear what to do next.....praying I can still fly..and that these symptoms go away!

Thanks for your kind words guys, means a lot

[Deanna & Desi & Cori]

Bloom, baby, bloom!!!  Praying for wisdom for your doctors and strength for you!  Hopefully, the medical team will be able to find a mix of antibiotics that will work on your lungs without so much toxicity!  

[Bonnie and Kona]

Jennifer, Thank you for posting. I have been wondering about you for a while but hated to request more details until you were ready to share. What a blessing to have friends that will be at your side during your hospital stay! and, of course, parents who are making this possible. 

I am grateful for the peace and hope God has poured out over you as you go through this trying circumstance. Is your condition Menere's Disease? It sounds like something a friend of mine has. She doe have periods of remission. I hope and pray that you have a long term period of remission with no recurrence of the disease. May God lead your doctors to an alternative and more effective medication for your infection. Also praying your time at National Jewish will be filled with new and excitingly effective treatments.

Thank you for posting your encouraging note to all of us to bloom where we are planted. You continue to be an inspiration.

lots of love and prayers. 

[Kaytlin and Cooper]

Jennifer - you keep on posting as much as you like - it must be good therapy for you. Wishing you and Jack all the best xxoo