Turning 39

[Jennifer and Jack]

Tomorrow, I will be turning 39 years old.. I have no idea how that happen... LOL.. Last thing I knew I was 16 and so excited it was one more year till I could drive.

 

So I will admit, I was not really wanting to acknowledge this birthday.. I was going to skip it sort of, You know wait for the big 40 next year.. The week before my birthday is the DK cruise, I will be going with one of my bestfriends and a bunch of girl friends.. I was just going to focus on that.

 

I am not exactly in the frame of mind to celebrate, or I will say I wasn't. I woke up throwing up and with fever. The lovely side effects of the medications I am on. I decided to be a fool, like I usually am and decided I was going to try to go to work... Even though I knew I could not make it without my oxygen today.. I was just going to try to go so I could earn a little money.....I only work one day a week for a few hours...when I can.. but it is very important to me.. I worked hard to be a nurse and I love to take care of people...

 

When I got to work I was so sick, but when I walked in the door, they had a surprise party for me.. I instantly started to cry.. because I saw all the food that people brought in and the cake.. two different departments got together and well one thing medical people can do is eat!!! Except when you are so nauseous you are going to throw up.. ( don't worry a good part is coming)

 

I shoved a bite in my mouth because someone went though a lot of trouble to make the cake..but I couldn't keep it there. 

 

I sat for a little while but I guess it was obvious that I was not doing well because everyone told me how horrible I looked and even my boss who is adamant that I can't wear my oxygen at work...(obviously not good as a nurse) not to mention the IV coming out of my neck..let me sit and do charts while wearing oxygen....

 

As I sat there I was listening to the conversations around me, I couldn't join in, I didn't have the air to talk, and that is when I really began to start to feel sorry for myself, not something that I normally do, but I was listening to people talk about having babies, and one of the doctors there is giving his wife who happens to be the exact age as me a party with 200 people and then asked me what I had planned for my birthday....

 

All I could say was I am hoping not to throw up but I don't have plans, .... I felt so silly.... anyway I was sent home rightfully so, since I was coughing so hard I was turning shades of colors that made them get the intubation kit out  just in case....

 

As I was driving home tears streaming because I just am tired already of the treatment and I have over a year to go.. Just in the nick of time my brother who lives in NC called me, I only in recent years have started talking to him on a regular basis... He wanted to know if he could bring me dinner at my house.

 

.... I was so overwhelmed, here he was out all day out of state and so tired.. and he thought of me.. Remember we just started getting to where we  talk... My brother came way, way, out of his way and brought me my favorite dinner in the world from the Bonefish.....

 

He couldn't stay long but he ate with me. He got to meet Jack... He loved Jack.. He is a real dog person as he has five rescue dogs at his house right now.. Well they are all his now, He has a big house big yard... I am so happy he got to meet Jack

 

I can tell you without a shadow of a doubt my brother thinking of me, bringing my favorite meal, that act of kindness touched my heart more then I can say.....and made me realize how silly I am being.. OF course I am going to celebrate this birthday.. I am alive for crying out loud.. past the average age of someone like me.. and I am going to celebrate.

 

So while it is true my goal for tomorrow will most likely be not to throw up.... I will count all of my blessings. I will Celebrate that I am alive, That God sent my brother to love on me. That I have Jack.. and that I have so many people who care about me, and if they are not giving up on me, then I am not..

 

So Happy Birthday to Me.. Thank you God for each and every day that I get to be alive.. I learned my lesson and I will be grateful or try to be...and focus on what I have and not what I don't.. and tomorrow snuggling with Jack is just going to be perfect....

[Sharon & Monty]

Hey you! didnt realize you had birthday till today, yah, I'm on top of things.  Happy birthday girl!  alway rooting for you and baby.dogger.  I'm not the most astute person paying attention but i notice you. Get ur stuff together and let us know how you guys are doing., :)  ,  

[Kaytlin and Cooper]

Happy Birthday!

[Stella]

Happy Belated Birthday!!  Wishing you many more years of (better) health and happiness!!

[Sally]

Happy Birthday Jennifer! Your post brought tears to my eyes.... partially because i can identify with so much. I'll be turning 38 in 12 days and have been really feeling sorry for myself. I took up running  years back after my husband passed away (cancer...melanoma...he was 29). Well for the last year and a half i've been preparing for my first full marathon. it's the NYC Marathon. A huge deal! I had to run 9 races last year and volunteer also to qualify to even be in the marathon and have been training hard since june. Well I hurt my foot about 8 weeks ago and my training has been a rollercoaster since. To the point now that after running 20 miles last sunday i can barely walk right now. So i'm laying on the couch with an ice pack on my foot and crying to Duncan (my doodle). I know in the grand scheme of things this is really nothing more than a wrinkle. For heaven's sake....I watched my husband die in front of my eyes. But as all my married friends move on with their lives and the one who broke my heart is now into another relationship (with a girl younger than me who runs faster than me) i just feel like such a failure. I was putting so much emphasis on this marathon i guess to make me feel like i had purpose in this life. Sigh! Thank you for your post. It's never about the big picture. it's always the small moments within the big picture. Your brother making a wonderful gesture to bring your favorite dinner and to meet your Jack is so beautiful and that's the moment within the big picture that i am talking about. While you're feeling sick and dealing with life's challenges this surprise visit made for a great birthday. Happy Birthday to you! Hope you're feeling better soon.....May your day be filled with lots of Jack snuggles and cuddles.

[Elizabeth & *Kosci*.]

Happy birthday!!

[Nicky, Riley & Boris]

Jennifer,  

I don't know how I missed this and I think it's been and gone but I just wanted to say a super Happy Belated Birthday.  It just shows that it IS the little things in life that mean so much more than big ones oftentimes.  Your brother coming is so lovely and bringing your favorite food too.  He must be just as kind as you.  Keep as well as you can and look after yourself.  We can all only do our best. 

One of your many friends, Nicky X

[Melody & Bruin]

Happy Birthday!

[F, Calla & Luca]

Happy Birthday!!!!

[Kyoko]

Happy Birthday Jennifer!!

[Ricki and Tara (doodle)]

Happy Birthday Jennifer and many, many more!