I can't believe I have to do this...

[Discussing Labradoodles & Goldendoodles]

Please don't judge when you read this and know that it is killing me to do it...but I am looking for a new home for my Grayson. 

Tuesday my husband informed me that he was leaving me and our three children.  He has started work two hours away from home (we were trying to sell our house and join him)...he had met someone in the meantime.  He wanted me and the kids to stay here and he was going to go start his new life...

Well, I don't trust him and am afraid to have even more ripped form me, so I am leaving the house.  I am getting a trailer on my mom and stepdad's property.

Right now we live on 7 acres in the country---they live in town and live above their business (a funeral home) and we will be right next door. 

The trailer will hardly be big enough for me and my three kids---it doesn't seem fair to keep him.

I have a good friend in a homeschooling group and she is trying to find a place through them...they are a great group of people and most are int eh area so I could still see him...if not I will try the DRC.

[Pam and Ginger Snap]

Well, at least you have "rehomed" the "the dog" with the worse habits!  Let's hope he has stomach issues and poopy issues.  He will lurn on his new master soon enough and she'll be looking to re-home him again!

 

As for Grayson, I know that you will find the perfect place for him and hopefully close by so you can visit.

[Sue, Lola, Pongo & Hubby]

Wow, I can't believe this. I am so deeply sorry for you. Hopefully you can find a home for him where you will be able to visit once in a while. So sorry to hear this.

[Camilla and Darwin]

I am so, so sorry. I am thinking of you and your family...

[Maryann,Roo and Tigger]

Amanda, my heartfelt sympathy to you.  Grayson will be fine if you are careful with choosing his new home.  Keep you and your boys as top priority.  You must be so overwhelmed.  The need for control of the things you can control is strong when life throws you a curve ball.  But as several have said, go ever so slowly into this new life, very slowly.  Allow time for all of you to be angry and to grieve.  This is really important. 

 

Then take each day as it comes.  Focus on finding one minute of joy in each day and suck it up, then find two minutes, then a half hour.  Savor the small things, even your boys anger - it is so much better for them to really be mad now than to carry it always. Be honest with them, tell them you are hurt and angry too. Tell them sometimes there is no really good reason. Their father should choose them, but he isn't.  He still loves them, but needs to live apart from them.   This really "no good reason" thing is one of life's hardest lessons.

 

If you own your house, even mortgaged, get some really good legal advice before you stop living in it.  Actually living in the house, even if you cannot pay the mortgage can have some strong advantages in a divorce, a more favorable mortagage agreement and some stability at least for awhile.  Please go slowly.  I know it hurts so badly, but only time will heal that and only if you let time do its job.  Your boys may need even more time than you do to heal.  

 

Please know that you are loved and respected,  by your parents, your boys, your friends, and your doodle friends. 

    

[Sara & Trix]

Maryann - you gave some amazing advice here.  Amanda, even if we are strangers, you and your boys have been and remain in my thoughts.

[Heather & Brinkley]

Amanda, I am so very sorry!! The amount of stress on you both emotional and physical has got to be overwhelming.  Gosh, if I weren't moving into my parent's house in two months as my husband prepares to go to school in Boston, I'd take Grayson in heartbeat.   Praying for you, your kids and that you'd find the PERFECT home for Grayson.

[Pam and Ginger Snap]

I have some legal advice.  Get a notebook, or open up a Word Doc on the computer and WRITE DOWN EVERYThinG.  Dates, times, what was said,  if he curses at you in front of the kids, write it down, if he says he will get the boys and he doesn't or is late, write it down.......dates you receive child support checks...I know you think that you can remember all this stuff, but time makes things fuzzy and you might need a record if and when you go to court.  It is amazing that when you write things down, you can began to see a pattern.  Get bank balances on all accounts, mortgages, loan...from the date he left.

 

I would not leave my house so quickly..I would establish myself with the kids in the home.  Make a list of monthly expenses for the household and for the boys...include things like gifts for birthday parties...summer camps, tutoring..medical, insurance..

 

Keep your cool in front of him and in front of kids...scream, cry to your parents, friends here.  Just don't gie him any ammo to use against you.

 

Good luck and take your time....you will be fine, but it takes time....enjoy your boys.