My doodle's time was up. ;-(

[Mandy & Benny]

On Sunday night I lost my best friend, my Riley.  I was out of town for the weekend, Riley was staying with my parents while I was gone.  On Saturday he started throwing up and my dad noticed blood on his tail after he went to the bathroom.  They took him to the emergency vet and he was diagnosed with gastroenteritis.  They gave him flagyl, something for nausea, and a bolus of fluids.  The vet said if they wanted him to stay over night he could, but he believed Riley was okay to go home.  My parents took him back to their house.  I returned early Sunday afternoon to my little pal unable to stand or barely lift his head.  My usual greeting of a tail wag and a lick was nowhere to be seen.  The vet said he would be lethargic and probably wouldn't be eating or drinking much.  I got him to drink a little water while his head was laying on my lap.  He seemed to perk up a little, stood up, and walked upstairs to the main floor of the house.  I thought this was a good sign.  I lay next to him all afternoon, just petting him and giving him hugs.  He ate a few pieces of chicken and drank a little water.  I had to run out for a couple of hours but had no reason to think anything would happen while I was gone.  My parents were there and he was looking a little better.  After being gone for about an hour, they called to have me meet them at the emergency vet.  He had started bleeding from his behind quite a bit.  When they pulled into the lot I opened the back door of the car.  I saw his sweet face, his eyes open with little tears going down, and he wasn't breathing.  The vet rushed him inside but couldn't bring him back.  I was, and I'm still hysterical.  I can't forgive myself for leaving him when he needed me the most.  I'm just sick over it.  That dog was my child, the one I went home to.  Now I can't stand to be in my house.  He's everywhere there, except embraced in a hug from me.  Has anyone else had an experience like this where the dog was energetic, bouncing around, and healthy one day and then gone the next?  I asked the vet how this could have happened if they weren't terribly concerned the night before.  She said it could be anything- he could've gone into shock from the fluid and blood loss, his stomach could've twisted (he wasn't bloated though), or maybe he ate something that irritated his system, passed it, and then was sick from that.  In the xrays done the first night, there were no obstructions.  The vet only noticed excessive gas- and my dog was the greatest because he RARELY greeted us with a curious odor.  Besides a bit of inflammation, that was the only out of the ordinary thing they found.  I keep trying to put the pieces together, what I should have done differently, how I could have prevented this.  Any wise words you can share? 

[Maryann,Roo and Tigger]

It is always hard to lose a beloved friend, but these circumstances are some of the worst.

One of my Siberians, Tsar, died suddenly.  When I left in the morning he seemed fine, although he did not get up as he usually did.  But he smiled at me and looked okay.  When I got home about 4, I found him lying nearly comatose coveredin his own feces.  I rushed him to the vet and he kept him overnight on IV drip after xrays and fecal analysis showed nothing.  The vet called the next morning to say Tsar had died in his arms early that morning.

I cried off and on for weeks, second guessing myself about what I could have or should have done.

It is a miserable experience.  My vet said that it could have been liver cancer as that often takes a dog suddenly. 

Wise words: only a few - know that Riley was adored and lived a wonderful if short life.  Know that there are more things we do not understand, than those we do.  When you are ready get another dog.  Do not let your grief keep a dog from having a wonderful home. My heart is heavy for you and my eyes full of tears.  Time will help as will a puppy when you are ready.

 

[J]

I am grieving with you over the loss of your Riley. We lost our Newfie two months ago and the pain is still fresh. This is the downside of loving our animals. Second guessing yourself will not change the outcome. We have done that in the past and it doesn't change a thing, it just takes away from the wonderful memories and time you had together.. We have had animals who died too young from cancer, another died suddenly, and some we had to make the awful decision about when to put them to sleep. Not one death, no matter the circumstances ,was easy to bear. Rejoice in the love you had for each other knowing how much he loved you unconditionally. I am sorry you are going through this pain. I know how much you miss him.

[Susan and Pippi]

Oh, I am so sorry for the loss of your dear friend.

[Mandy & Benny]

I read through all of these comments and felt so much comfort from all of you- people I've never met before, but people who understand how much love there is to gain by owning a pet. I appreciate all of your kind words and your thoughtfulness. Four years with my best pal wasn't enough for me and I don't know if I could ever replace him. I'm hoping that time will help me through and my guilt subsides. I just don't know what to do with myself without him here. Thank you all. Xo

[Linda, Webber and Seda]

You will not ever be able to replace Riley. The question is, do you have room in your heart to love another different best friend......and then when? It will get easier with time. Let us know how you are doing. Best wishes. Doodle kisses from Webber and Seda. Wish we lived close so we could visit and rub doodle all over you.

[Wendy and Sully]

I'm really sorry for your loss. I was in tears by the time I got to the end of your post. I hope you find the answers you're looking for. I think you did everything you could. Riley knew you you loved him. It's just so sad and a reminder that we never really know just how much time we'll have with our babies, so make the most of every day.

[Barbara B., Sasha & Oliver]

I'm so sorry for your loss Mandy and please do not blame yourself for not being there.  The same thing happened to me but with my Mom.  The hospital called me at 4:30 a..m. and told me to get to NYC asap, so my sister and I were there in a 1/2 hour...we stayed with her until about 10 am and decided to go get s bite to eat at a bagel shop across the street from the hosptial.  We were gone about 20 minutes when we got back my Mom had passed.  I felt soooo bad that my sister and I were not there when she passed, I was just beside myself with grief and so was my sister.  But some how I did get thru it because I knew she loved me no matter what I loved her no matter what AND I knew she would not want me to dwell on the fact that I was not there, she was a very independent woman and I could feel her with me and she will always be in my heart.  It is a difficult time for you right now but please dont blame youself.  Sending hugs your way  {{{{ hugs  }}}}

[Mandy & Benny]

Thank you for telling me your story and I'm so sorry for your loss!  As this week has gone on, I've started to realize that maybe this is the way it was supposed to happen, whether I like it or not.  I'm thankful that I wasn't witness to his suffering on the way to the vet office, but I can't help but wish I was there next to him as he faced the end.  I suppose with time I'll stop beating myself up.  Wow do I miss him.  :(

[Lonnie & Libby Lu]

Hugs and many prayers to you and your parents.  We are all thinking of you!

[Carol and Banjo]

Mandy, I'm so very sorry for your loss.   Please know you'll be in my prayers through this period of grief.

[Kathryn Fanelli, ALNE]

I am so so sorry for you:( 

I have been there and know what you're feeling. Many big hugs.

Kathy

[Lori, Daphne, Lucy & Pippa]

Mandy, I know that sometimes it can help a great deal to create a memorial for your love. http://angel-hearts.org

is a nice place. They have some really nice poems on their website as well. You have been in my thoughts a lot lately and I know it helped me when I lost a loved one tragically.