The Kleins, Tempe, AZ's Blog

I'm Jess

When I arrived this morning I heard Jess say “All I want is a teaspoon of tapioca pudding.”

Yes, he did not pass the swallow test again. When you have ventilator tubes down your throat for four weeks things do not get back to normal real fast. His vocal chords are not collapsing properly, causing the fluids and food to go into his lungs. We have worked so many weeks in clearing them, this is not something we wish to screw up.

Today Jess seems to be more at the acceptance… Continue

Added by The Kleins, Tempe, AZ on March 31, 2009 at 7:00pm — 15 Comments

Feeling it

Tonight marks the five week anniversary of Jesse’s AirVac arrival to Mayo. As his sedation leaves his system he has become more and more aware of the life he has in the CCU. When I arrived, he was down, and he stayed that way for nearly my entire ten hour visit.

Jess began his morning with a swallow test. He was allowed a teaspoon of tapioca pudding – which her reported tasted like “heaven.” His voice is not back and they are afraid of vocal chord damage. Jess had a test and will be… Continue

Added by The Kleins, Tempe, AZ on March 30, 2009 at 9:31pm — 3 Comments

The Klein Room

Five weeks.

Today makes five weeks since Jesse suffered his heart attack.

Before Jesse woke up, family and friends occupied a small pocketed area on the second floor of Mayo. We pulled more chairs in. Kathy moved a small square end table to the center and brought snacks for everyone. We waited. And waited. Daily surgeries. Hours. Days. Weeks. There was something about that room that comforted me while my world was falling apart. When the evening cleaning crew returned the table to the… Continue

Added by The Kleins, Tempe, AZ on March 29, 2009 at 7:36pm — 10 Comments

You've got it, babe

I woke up fairly early, stared at the ceiling for nearly an hour then called to check on Jess at about 4 a.m.. Naturally, he was awake and he asked for his mask (lung ventilation device) to be removed. He just had the nose cannulas giving him a little oxygen. His blood pressure had been dropping. When I asked Jess if he felt the mask was O.K. to be removed, his response was, “Well yes, you see I have had it on for two weeks.”

He has not been awake for two weeks.

He requested… Continue

Added by The Kleins, Tempe, AZ on March 28, 2009 at 8:55pm — 11 Comments

The Hug

Jess had a bad day yesterday. Add to pulmonary edema, a little pneumonia, and strep from in his sputum and a rise in temperature. He had been gasping for air and has been placed on a pressure ventilation device.

When I arrived at Mayo after my stress test, Jess was greeting me with a half raised arm. As I walked over to the bed, he pulled me in, and with the best of his ability gave me a hug and patted my back. His step-mom and son also visited today, but the day was ours. Jess was… Continue

Added by The Kleins, Tempe, AZ on March 27, 2009 at 10:00pm — 9 Comments

No rest stress test

I did not call Mayo through the night or early this morning as I normally do. I was hoping last night would be the night my guy got some restorative sleep. Phoebe slept well, resting her head in my neck again. I think she must have put on a little weight as I struggled to shove her over.

I had to be at the cardiologist’s office at 7:45 for part one of my stress test. This was the “rest test.” I’d be on my way to see Jess after they released me. After check-in, I decided to call and… Continue

Added by The Kleins, Tempe, AZ on March 26, 2009 at 6:00pm — 5 Comments

Dove feathers

The morning dawned with a doodle muzzle nested in the curve of my neck.

I remember that was how the evening began. Phoebe wanted to snuggle. It wasn’t very comfortable for me, but the reality that she had made herself cozy made me smile. I believe we fell asleep that way.

For the first time in four weeks and two days I did not call the night nurse. An extra phone ring or voices would keep Jess awake. My morning call was only to learn that Jess had another night of no… Continue

Added by The Kleins, Tempe, AZ on March 25, 2009 at 8:21pm — 8 Comments

“I am breathing on my own”

This morning I was both nervous and excited to go see Jesse. He had not slept yet another night, so I wasn’t sure what I would find this morning.

It felt like a first date. I put on a colorful sweater and some make-up. I couldn’t wait to see his bright beautiful eyes looking at me.

When I arrived a family friend and (brother) Jody met me in the waiting area. We walked back to see Jess, when he saw me he mouthed “I love you” from beneath his tubes. I’m always relieved that he… Continue

Added by The Kleins, Tempe, AZ on March 24, 2009 at 8:57pm — 15 Comments

So you wanna “peace” of me?

Yes. Everyone wants to feel at peace about Jess.

He had a party of visitors to witness the awakening. The stream of well-wishers created too much stimulation after a night of no sleep, causing him to hyperventilate.

It appears that Jess does not want to fall asleep – his eyes are darting all around the room, he is twisting his head to see what is around him. I’m sure he has figured out by now that his heart attack was severe since he is reminded he has been at Mayo for one… Continue

Added by The Kleins, Tempe, AZ on March 23, 2009 at 5:57pm — 9 Comments

Wake up, wake up you sleepy head....

It is a beautiful day here in Arizona.

Jesse’s best friend and wife arrived to Mayo in the morning. Frank called with happy tears -- his friend seemed alert and his expressions were tell-tale that he comprehends. Frank had told Jess about Obama’s “Special Olympic” comment and Jess’s face registered like, “Oh, did he screw up!” Frank was so thrilled because it showed that Jess did not need further explanation, he realized what a faux pa the pres made which meant Jess did not need to… Continue

Added by The Kleins, Tempe, AZ on March 22, 2009 at 7:20pm — 15 Comments

Home again, home again, jiggety jig

First things first.

I have a new gardener.

He is not a goat. His name is Jose.

He has no idea what I’m saying but I got the “one-fify” and gladly wrote a check. The yard is not as perfect as Ken does and he spent a fraction of a fraction of the time. But since our gardener for the last nine years lived alone, I have no idea of his condition. I hope he is well, but I sense he will not be doing yard work for some time.

Jesse was taken off epinephrine last night. He is… Continue

Added by The Kleins, Tempe, AZ on March 21, 2009 at 7:29pm — 12 Comments

Fever

Jess has had a fever that has been fluctuating for weeks. Today one of the doctors discussed the possible cause, fluid in the gall bladder. A needle inserted and will permit slow draining for six weeks. Was it the cause of the fever? No.

I have felt a little deflated today and I am fighting it to be upbeat. I am not upbeat. I feel like "Debbie Downer."

I witnessed a nurse move his arm (the one that was lacerated to remove blood that seeped from one of the cannula sites… Continue

Added by The Kleins, Tempe, AZ on March 20, 2009 at 10:01pm — 9 Comments

A stitch in time….

In a four hour procedure, Jess was closed today. Due to the length of time he was open they had to use a technique with his pectoral muscles I was not too interested in hearing the details of.

And so we wait. The next 36 hours are crucial. I have been on pins and needles which did not make me too perky to meet my new cardiologist. When I went to the office I recognized one of his colleagues as the doctor who took Jess up to cath lab in the first hospital. In making the appointment I had a… Continue

Added by The Kleins, Tempe, AZ on March 19, 2009 at 7:30pm — 13 Comments

Resolving boundary Issues

My mind has been in conflict trying to construct my emotional state. I have set boundaries for my fear and boundaries for my hope. This conflict has resulted in such stress on my body that I trust a trip to a cardiologist can sort me out. I have done the stress test before. This is where you get to walk or run half naked on a treadmill while a young pimply faced technician gets to look at your boobs, wired of course. This test will take place after a morning at Mayo. Do you think I have a shot… Continue

Added by The Kleins, Tempe, AZ on March 18, 2009 at 8:31pm — 8 Comments

Heart beats and a green suede pump...

Today was supposed to be a day of rest. I needed to follow up with my high blood pressure stress issues and knew I needed to switch doctors. So my appointment with my new doctor was today. As I was leaving for my appointment I called the hospital to learn that Jess was scheduled for another surgery -- about 1:00 PM again (which means 3:00, that much I've learned). Reason? The nurse told me that the doc swung by and needed to make a decision on another device. I am aware of the bridge to… Continue

Added by The Kleins, Tempe, AZ on March 17, 2009 at 7:30pm — 14 Comments

Cautiously optimistic with some surprises along the way...

Yesterday was a hard day for me. It was the three week anniversary I did not want to remember. Filled with fear, I came across card after card that Jess had written me over the years and felt how much this man loves me and how we need to continue our story. Phoebe must have sensed it as she crawled into bed with me for the night and stayed close. (Maybe it is because she is shaved, but I am going for the compassion angle)

I was getting ready to leave this morning and my friend called… Continue

Added by The Kleins, Tempe, AZ on March 16, 2009 at 8:32pm — 11 Comments

A little wine does not hurt...

My dear friend of 31 years spent the night and took me up to Mayo today. It was great therapy. Good friends know what you need.

Jess had a fever again in the morning but I am seeing the cycle -- it seems to go up after being in the OR and the poking around. He is cultured every day with results returning three days later, so far, no infection.

Ambient air and Tylenol took the fever down, but he is a little elevated tonight yet not enough to begin to treat. Latest report as of… Continue

Added by The Kleins, Tempe, AZ on March 14, 2009 at 10:22pm — 8 Comments

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly, and I mean Ugly

The good: Jesse does not have a temperature today. The bad: his heart did not work by itself. The machine is a BiVad Missi, I did not hear that term before but I get it now. He will stay on it. They will try to wean him off again next week, but the doctor really believes now that there is too much damage. So I won't get any hopes up and think positively for a successful transplant and getting him ready for that. The doc said getting a heart can take many months. There are bridge… Continue

Added by The Kleins, Tempe, AZ on March 13, 2009 at 8:16pm — 17 Comments

My hearty is thumping ....bring it on Jesse!

Sí, se puede Jesse!!!!!

1:00 today Jess will get his "clean-out" -- this has been routine, a trip to OR every other day along with the nine million other trips for various reasons. The nurse just told me they may take out the rotary pump -- I ask "to replace with WHAT???" She said the doctor wants to check to see if his own heart is coming back enough --- two days ago he was very grim and said no way --- the fact that they are looking to do this again must mean they are able to see some… Continue

Added by The Kleins, Tempe, AZ on March 13, 2009 at 9:59am — 13 Comments

Back in surgery tonight

Today was awful. I can barely bring myself to type this. Jess could not be closed today and his heart is not showing enough improvement to give life. The doctor painted a very grim picture with his chance for infection and the high risk he is at. He repeated that it is "up to you." -- What a frightening statement. He also suggested that he may not "be there" but the nurse and I disagree, as he has responded when the sedation is slightly lifted. The second doctor concurred. He could be a… Continue

Added by The Kleins, Tempe, AZ on March 11, 2009 at 8:48pm — 19 Comments

The Kleins, Tempe, AZ's Blog – March 2009 Archive (27)